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Stream Ed New
You know what this is? It's a brain sucker. You know what it's doing? Filing its tax return
If you wish to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first invent apple pie The Adventures of Little Ed Brave Tell airport security your name is McCannister because you can hide anything in a cannister. You know what? Nobody notices when this changes anyway. There are 10 types of people in the world: Those who understand binary, and STFU What happens in a black hole stays in a black hole The black hole draws you inexorably inward. Time slows. You are likely to be eaten by a grue. I'd diddle little umdidlie... if she weren't my half-sister. Abortion prevents pedophilia. In more ways than one!   Notice to all users of the Holodeck: There are safety protocols in place that cannot be deactivated without the approval of two commanding officers or the captain to protect users of the Holodeck from potential harm. However, every time the Holodeck is ever used in a nontrivial manner, no matter what the safety protocols say, the Holodeck turns into a deathtrap. Unless you believe yourself to be adept at constructing a forcefield from your communicator and 19th century Earth tools, or you're at the very least not wearing a red shirt, you are strongly advised not to attempt to use the Holodeck until a designer comes up with a safety protocol that doesn't kill you whenever somebody looks at it funny. Even when you're not on the holodeck. Or in the same quadrant. Or time period. In fact, if you are wearing a red shirt, Starfleet may not be the job for you  |
Pages: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 ... 59 >> FinallyWhat is a bazito?Some of you may be wondering, what is a bazito anyway? Well, the closest I could find a picture of was it's hardcore brother the bazongo:  Epic FailI've become the de facto sound editor person at work, since I know more about it than anybody else. I've been using a program called GoldWave to do most of my work, and though we ought probably actually buy it. So I sent out an email saying as such, so it makes it easier for me to edit sounds. My boss, who is not a funny man, replied: "sounds" good... go ahead and make that purchase Epic fail. Ten Little EndiansI just though of a nice name for something. I'm not sure what, but it'll apply somewhere some day: Ten Little Endians. It's only funny if you are familiar with the term little-endian. But I think it's pretty funny. If only I were Arthur DentIf you've yet to read my previous blag post, please do so. It pertains. ... Okay. So, I relived another nonexistent conversation. I ran through in my head what I would say and do if I were Arthur Dent, main character in Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy and... I really don't know what his job is... and if the Earth were not destroyed. Sorry, but that's not a spoiler alert. It happens in the first ten pages of the first book. The predicament Arthur would be in is that his house was bulldozed to build a bypass right through what used to be his bedroom. Why? Because it's a bypass. You've got to build bypasses. He was not notified that his house was to be bulldozed, and the paperwork that was "on display" at the county office (because you've got to regularly go to the county office to make sure your house isn't scheduled for demolition) was, in fact in the unlit the cellar where the stairs had recently ceased to be, in a locked filing cabinet stuck in an unused lavatory, supposedly guarded by a leopard. So, if I were Arthur Dent, I thought to myself, I would get some paperwork done up in a very bureaucratic way and have it approved by some pompous judge who think they know everything but in fact don't understand the first sentence of the document. Then I would use that paperwork to plan a bypass right through the House of Parliament. That's what I'd do. If I were Arthur Dent. And the planet never blew up. Let us be thankful that that is not the case. Remember, remember, the 12th of April, I suppose, since I don't recall any dates being mentioned in the book. |
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