Oh, I got hot sause all over my bazito!

You know what this is? It's a brain sucker. You know what it's doing? Filing its tax return

If you wish to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first invent apple pie

The Adventures of Little Ed Brave

Tell airport security your name is McCannister because you can hide anything in a cannister.

You know what? Nobody notices when this changes anyway.

There are 10 types of people in the world: Those who understand binary, and STFU

What happens in a black hole stays in a black hole

The black hole draws you inexorably inward. Time slows. You are likely to be eaten by a grue.

I'd diddle little umdidlie... if she weren't my half-sister.

Abortion prevents pedophilia. In more ways than one!
Get Firefox!
I wrote a haiku

which I was about to share,

but then I thought, "screw it."
Level 1

Notice to all users of the Holodeck:

There are safety protocols in place that cannot be deactivated without the approval of two commanding officers or the captain to protect users of the Holodeck from potential harm. However, every time the Holodeck is ever used in a nontrivial manner, no matter what the safety protocols say, the Holodeck turns into a deathtrap.

Unless you believe yourself to be adept at constructing a forcefield from your communicator and 19th century Earth tools, or you're at the very least not wearing a red shirt, you are strongly advised not to attempt to use the Holodeck until a designer comes up with a safety protocol that doesn't kill you whenever somebody looks at it funny. Even when you're not on the holodeck. Or in the same quadrant. Or time period.

In fact, if you are wearing a red shirt, Starfleet may not be the job for you

Ed
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Welcome... to the PRESSSEEENNNT

Permalink 04/12/07 at 09:23:50 am, by Ed, 246 words   English (US)
Categories: General

I got on a bus this morning with a piece of plastic in my hand. I moved the piece of plastic between two thicker pieces of plastic, and it made a beep, whereupon the bus driver nodded at me, and I took a seat.

Sound amazing? That's the direction technology will be going in the present. They're called Student ID cards, and it's called a Card Reader, and he's called Stanly. They're all part of two amazing old technologies called magnetic strips and human audio recognition. Sound complicated? Well, don't jump ship yet, there's more.

I sat down at my desk and pushed a single button on a large, boxy structure sitting on the desk next to me. The picture frame in front of me reveals that it's no picture frame at all, but an interactive real-time display of the location of a small object on the desk with a string attached to it going into the box. I can move this thing around, and as long as it stays on a special pad designed for it, the display updates in real time to show me where this object is. Amazing, you say? But wait, there's more! There are buttons on this small device, called Mouse, that, when pressed, cause the background to change unpredictably to pictures, documents, or even 3D moving caricatures that respond to the movement of Mouse.

This is the direction of technology in the present. Sound amazing? Well, wait for the future!

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