Oh, I got hot sause all over my bazito!

You know what this is? It's a brain sucker. You know what it's doing? Filing its tax return

If you wish to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first invent apple pie

The Adventures of Little Ed Brave

Tell airport security your name is McCannister because you can hide anything in a cannister.

You know what? Nobody notices when this changes anyway.

There are 10 types of people in the world: Those who understand binary, and STFU

What happens in a black hole stays in a black hole

The black hole draws you inexorably inward. Time slows. You are likely to be eaten by a grue.

I'd diddle little umdidlie... if she weren't my half-sister.

Abortion prevents pedophilia. In more ways than one!
Get Firefox!
I wrote a haiku

which I was about to share,

but then I thought, "screw it."
Level 1

Notice to all users of the Holodeck:

There are safety protocols in place that cannot be deactivated without the approval of two commanding officers or the captain to protect users of the Holodeck from potential harm. However, every time the Holodeck is ever used in a nontrivial manner, no matter what the safety protocols say, the Holodeck turns into a deathtrap.

Unless you believe yourself to be adept at constructing a forcefield from your communicator and 19th century Earth tools, or you're at the very least not wearing a red shirt, you are strongly advised not to attempt to use the Holodeck until a designer comes up with a safety protocol that doesn't kill you whenever somebody looks at it funny. Even when you're not on the holodeck. Or in the same quadrant. Or time period.

In fact, if you are wearing a red shirt, Starfleet may not be the job for you

« 30 years ago on ThanksgivingAihblria »

The sudoku puzzle that broke the camel's back

Permalink 04/15/07 at 11:37:58 pm, by Ed, 259 words   English (US)
Categories: School, Work

I'm a pretty laid-back guy, yeah. Most things, I don't let them bother me. At least, not when you're looking, anyway. What, you say I have a peptic ulcer? Oh, OK. Whatever. I'm sure it will all be fine. The world doesn't stop turning for a peptic ulcer.

What? A twenty-page paper due tomorrow, and I spent all night working on my webpage? I'm sure I can pull it off. It'll be fine.

My security presentation's today, and I have to read half the book for my music class by Wednesday? Don't sweat it. I've got time. I'm sure I do. Between the sentences the teacher is saying, I can read the book.

I got the lowest score on the test in the whole class? Yeah, well, that's not terrible. It's not like I'm a straight-A student anyway. This semester. I'll live. I hope. Just don't bug me.

I'm a month behind on my day-Sudoku-Calendar!? GOD! OH, GOD! WHAT THE HELL HAS THE WORLD COME TO!? IT'S OVER! RUN, BEFORE I STAB SOMEBODY! I SWEAR TO BUDHA'S LEG, SOMEBODY'S ASKIN' FOR A WHOOPIN'! I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE! I may as well slit my wrists now, but I might survive, and then I'd have a huge clean-up job, and I'd have to buy a new keyboard, and it's just not worth it.

Oh, well. Next time. Next time, when I'm at somebody else's house. Then they can clean it up. Well, at least all that yelling has reduced my stress. Funny how you'd think it wouldn't, but it does.

No feedback yet

Comments are closed for this post.