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Tell airport security your name is McCannister because you can hide anything in a cannister.

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The black hole draws you inexorably inward. Time slows. You are likely to be eaten by a grue.

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Notice to all users of the Holodeck:

There are safety protocols in place that cannot be deactivated without the approval of two commanding officers or the captain to protect users of the Holodeck from potential harm. However, every time the Holodeck is ever used in a nontrivial manner, no matter what the safety protocols say, the Holodeck turns into a deathtrap.

Unless you believe yourself to be adept at constructing a forcefield from your communicator and 19th century Earth tools, or you're at the very least not wearing a red shirt, you are strongly advised not to attempt to use the Holodeck until a designer comes up with a safety protocol that doesn't kill you whenever somebody looks at it funny. Even when you're not on the holodeck. Or in the same quadrant. Or time period.

In fact, if you are wearing a red shirt, Starfleet may not be the job for you

Ed
« So much for early-to-bedVisual Studio »

School's Out! Again!

Permalink 06/04/07 at 06:43:51 am, by Ed, 364 words   English (US)
Categories: School

Yaaay! School's out! Wait, didn't I just do this? Oh, yeah, silly high-schoolers and their wait-until-June attitude. You know where that leaves you? About two weeks behind the rest of us! Hah! Take that!

"Take what, Ed? So we got out of school two weeks after you. That's hardly our fault, and besides, who cares?"

Ummm... uhh... suck it! You're... dumb. Stupid! Go away! Hah!

"Now you're just making yourself sound bad. What a forced, poorly-executed comeback. You really need to work on your language skills."

Yeah? Well, you're being pleonastic about it.

"Oh, come on. You learn one word and you can't get over it. Yeah, great, so you know what pleonasm means. Get over yourself. You don't have to use it every single day in every way possible. You're like a little child who just learned a new word and wants to show off. For goodness sake, can't you be a little mature? You're a college student!"

...Doody-pants!

"Oh, for the love of god. I give up."

Hah! I win! I win by forfeit!

"Win? Were we playing a game? You can only win when competing, and I wasn't aware of any true competition going on. I obviously sensed a certain level of animosity directed at me, likely due to your need for a bit of one-upmanship on somebody younger than you, but that can only end badly for both of us. I would suggest that either you actually come up to my level so we might talk as equals, or we stop having this conversation right now."

...wow. That quickly took a turn for the worse. This reminds me of Intertron Drama. Except it's just one person, so no feelings are hurt.

"Did you just say 'Intertron'?"

Yeah. Intertron Drama. ID. It's a word I wish I made up. Actually, I'm not sure if I did or not. I may have.

"Uhuh. Well, I've run out of scathing remarks to say, so I guess I'd better stop talking before I talk myself down to your level. OH! BURN!--"

--Way to be hypocritical--

"--OH, I SO GOT YOU! HAH!" *abscondabscondabscond*

Did he seriously just abscond? Seriously? What... the heck...was that?

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