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Notice to all users of the Holodeck:

There are safety protocols in place that cannot be deactivated without the approval of two commanding officers or the captain to protect users of the Holodeck from potential harm. However, every time the Holodeck is ever used in a nontrivial manner, no matter what the safety protocols say, the Holodeck turns into a deathtrap.

Unless you believe yourself to be adept at constructing a forcefield from your communicator and 19th century Earth tools, or you're at the very least not wearing a red shirt, you are strongly advised not to attempt to use the Holodeck until a designer comes up with a safety protocol that doesn't kill you whenever somebody looks at it funny. Even when you're not on the holodeck. Or in the same quadrant. Or time period.

In fact, if you are wearing a red shirt, Starfleet may not be the job for you

Ed
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Sunburns, Harry Potter meet college student

Permalink 07/23/07 at 06:53:54 am, by Ed, 137 words   English (US)
Categories: General

BLOOMINGTON, MN (EP) -- College student Edward Dassmesser was sunburned for the first time in seven years yesterday when a series of unfortunate events lead to the purchasing of one book Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows and being forced to read it in the sun for an extended period of time. Scientists believe that the extended periods of looking downward they say are required for reading caused the back of his neck to be exposed to dangerous "Ultraviolet" radiation, emanating from a nearby giant gaseous ball of fire.

Accordingly, this radiation burn may have caused severe skin lacerations, or probably not. Dassmesser has reportedly not been affected by the radiation enough to have stopped him from finishing the book, and was quoted as saying, "Hagrid dies in the end, foo! Hahah! Ruined it for all y'all!"

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