Oh, I got hot sause all over my bazito!

You know what this is? It's a brain sucker. You know what it's doing? Filing its tax return

If you wish to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first invent apple pie

The Adventures of Little Ed Brave

Tell airport security your name is McCannister because you can hide anything in a cannister.

You know what? Nobody notices when this changes anyway.

There are 10 types of people in the world: Those who understand binary, and STFU

What happens in a black hole stays in a black hole

The black hole draws you inexorably inward. Time slows. You are likely to be eaten by a grue.

I'd diddle little umdidlie... if she weren't my half-sister.

Abortion prevents pedophilia. In more ways than one!
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I wrote a haiku

which I was about to share,

but then I thought, "screw it."
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Notice to all users of the Holodeck:

There are safety protocols in place that cannot be deactivated without the approval of two commanding officers or the captain to protect users of the Holodeck from potential harm. However, every time the Holodeck is ever used in a nontrivial manner, no matter what the safety protocols say, the Holodeck turns into a deathtrap.

Unless you believe yourself to be adept at constructing a forcefield from your communicator and 19th century Earth tools, or you're at the very least not wearing a red shirt, you are strongly advised not to attempt to use the Holodeck until a designer comes up with a safety protocol that doesn't kill you whenever somebody looks at it funny. Even when you're not on the holodeck. Or in the same quadrant. Or time period.

In fact, if you are wearing a red shirt, Starfleet may not be the job for you

Ed
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Super Charlie the Clown

Permalink 08/16/07 at 10:15:44 pm, by Ed, 249 words   English (US)
Categories: General

Lyrics for one of the best songs ever written, which I found on my computer while cleaning out old crap that I kept around because I used to be a digital pack rat. I haven't deleted this, of course.

Super Charlie the clown
Came to our house in Jerusalem
The day the number 18 bus was bombed.

Super Charlie's Australian by birth,
He moved to the Golan Heights recently
Because it's in the country.

Asked him if he was ready
To become a Syrian citizen
And he just laughed,
Cuz he's not very vocal with adults.

It's probably a good thing that he
Didn't talk much to the parents there,
Cuz half of them were journalists
From the bombing site.

There's nothing like a bus bomb in your town
To get you thinking 'bout
The peace process and terror
And public transportation.
Jerusalemites like to quote this Yogi Berra motto
Of life in the sacred city,
"Life is pretty safe until it's not."

We heard the bomb go off,
The five-year-old at the birthday party said,
"What was that sonic boom?"
We also thought it was a sonic boom
Because the Israeli Air Force specializes in sonic booms
And we hear them all the time, which puts us off guard.

A friend of mine was hit by a bus-bomb before,
When she was still riding the buses every day
Until the #18 exploded.
She figured she couldn't be struck twice
But spring's coming soon
And next week she's buyin' a bike.

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