Oh, I got hot sause all over my bazito!

You know what this is? It's a brain sucker. You know what it's doing? Filing its tax return

If you wish to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first invent apple pie

The Adventures of Little Ed Brave

Tell airport security your name is McCannister because you can hide anything in a cannister.

You know what? Nobody notices when this changes anyway.

There are 10 types of people in the world: Those who understand binary, and STFU

What happens in a black hole stays in a black hole

The black hole draws you inexorably inward. Time slows. You are likely to be eaten by a grue.

I'd diddle little umdidlie... if she weren't my half-sister.

Abortion prevents pedophilia. In more ways than one!
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I wrote a haiku

which I was about to share,

but then I thought, "screw it."
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Notice to all users of the Holodeck:

There are safety protocols in place that cannot be deactivated without the approval of two commanding officers or the captain to protect users of the Holodeck from potential harm. However, every time the Holodeck is ever used in a nontrivial manner, no matter what the safety protocols say, the Holodeck turns into a deathtrap.

Unless you believe yourself to be adept at constructing a forcefield from your communicator and 19th century Earth tools, or you're at the very least not wearing a red shirt, you are strongly advised not to attempt to use the Holodeck until a designer comes up with a safety protocol that doesn't kill you whenever somebody looks at it funny. Even when you're not on the holodeck. Or in the same quadrant. Or time period.

In fact, if you are wearing a red shirt, Starfleet may not be the job for you

Ed
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Credit card... of DOOM!!!

Permalink 08/24/07 at 05:43:27 pm, by Ed, 155 words   English (US)
Categories: General

I just got my first ever Credit Card today. OMG, ED HAS A CREDIT CARD! But that's not the funny bit. I was glancing through some of the documentation that came with it, and I one phrase caught my eye:

"Member" means hand or foot.

This piqued my interest. Looking deeper, I found this:

"Loss" means, with respect to a hand, complete severance throughout or above the knuckle joints of at least 4 fingers on the same hand; with respect to a foot, complete severance through or above the ankle joint. The Company will consider it a loss of hand or foot even if they are later reattached.

This is not taken out of context, this is not paraphrased. This is exactly what in my "Visa Guide to Benefits" paperwork. Yes, a Credit Card is talking about loss of limb. On the FRONT PAGE. I had no idea how committed these companies expect you to be.

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