Oh, I got hot sause all over my bazito!

You know what this is? It's a brain sucker. You know what it's doing? Filing its tax return

If you wish to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first invent apple pie

The Adventures of Little Ed Brave

Tell airport security your name is McCannister because you can hide anything in a cannister.

You know what? Nobody notices when this changes anyway.

There are 10 types of people in the world: Those who understand binary, and STFU

What happens in a black hole stays in a black hole

The black hole draws you inexorably inward. Time slows. You are likely to be eaten by a grue.

I'd diddle little umdidlie... if she weren't my half-sister.

Abortion prevents pedophilia. In more ways than one!
Get Firefox!
I wrote a haiku

which I was about to share,

but then I thought, "screw it."
Level 1

Notice to all users of the Holodeck:

There are safety protocols in place that cannot be deactivated without the approval of two commanding officers or the captain to protect users of the Holodeck from potential harm. However, every time the Holodeck is ever used in a nontrivial manner, no matter what the safety protocols say, the Holodeck turns into a deathtrap.

Unless you believe yourself to be adept at constructing a forcefield from your communicator and 19th century Earth tools, or you're at the very least not wearing a red shirt, you are strongly advised not to attempt to use the Holodeck until a designer comes up with a safety protocol that doesn't kill you whenever somebody looks at it funny. Even when you're not on the holodeck. Or in the same quadrant. Or time period.

In fact, if you are wearing a red shirt, Starfleet may not be the job for you

« Poorly used acronymiPhuket »

I win (Ten million Euros)!

Permalink 08/30/07 at 08:58:15 am, by Ed, 281 words   English (US)
Categories: Spam

Please note the poor English, European location, and unlikeliness of the following message I found in my spam box today:

Microsoft Award Team
Carrer Fontana 26, Plaza Cataluña.
08002 Barcelona, Spain.
Ref: BTD/969/07
Batch: 59978ED

Dear Winner,
The prestigious Microsoft and aol has set out and successfully
organized Sweepstakes marking the year 2007 anniversary with a rolled
out sum of €10,000.000.00 (Ten million Euros).

The selection was made through a computer draw system attaching
personalized email addresses to ticket numbers. Microsoft and AOL are
now the largest Internet companies and in an effort to make sure that
Internet Explorer remains the most widely used program, Microsoft and
AOL are running an e-mail beta test.

Your email address as indicated was drawn and attached to ticket
number 0087955827499 with serial numbers BTD/0080648302/07 and drew
the lucky numbers 14-21-30-39-40-47(31) which subsequently won you
€1,000.000.00 (One Million Euros) as one of the 10 jackpot winners in
this draw. You have therefore won the entire winning sum of
€1,000.000.00 (One Million Euros). The draws registered as Draw
number one was conducted in Cataluna region of Spain, on
the 25th of August 2007.

To file your claims, you are to make contact with your designated
agent who shall by duty guide you through the process to facilitate
the release of your prize. Contact your fiduciary agent;

Mr. David Jordi
Microsoft Promotion Award Team
Email: sweepstakes44@aim.com
Tel: 0034.660.369.046

You are advised to contact your fiduciary agent with the following
details to avoid unnecessary delay and complications:

Your Full Name:
Ticket Nº:
Batch Nº:
Private Telephone Nº:

Congratulations from the Staffs & Members of the interactive
Lotteries Board Commission;

Dr. Rose A. Moleno
Microsoft Promotion Team

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