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The black hole draws you inexorably inward. Time slows. You are likely to be eaten by a grue.

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Notice to all users of the Holodeck:

There are safety protocols in place that cannot be deactivated without the approval of two commanding officers or the captain to protect users of the Holodeck from potential harm. However, every time the Holodeck is ever used in a nontrivial manner, no matter what the safety protocols say, the Holodeck turns into a deathtrap.

Unless you believe yourself to be adept at constructing a forcefield from your communicator and 19th century Earth tools, or you're at the very least not wearing a red shirt, you are strongly advised not to attempt to use the Holodeck until a designer comes up with a safety protocol that doesn't kill you whenever somebody looks at it funny. Even when you're not on the holodeck. Or in the same quadrant. Or time period.

In fact, if you are wearing a red shirt, Starfleet may not be the job for you

Ed
« Another Star Wars appearanceBack to work, all of you! »

I wanna go on Oprah

Permalink 01/21/08 at 10:13:04 am, by Ed, 268 words   English (US)
Categories: General

Several things to write about here.

Zeroth: I have fixed my calendar ("What am I doing") so that it shows up again when you click on the link on the sidebar.
First: Craig Ferguson says "Sausage" at apparently random intervals.
Second: So does my mother.

Also: I move back to my apartment on-campus today. Finally, back at my own computer... not yet, mind you. But soon!

Lastly, a long one: Whilst visiting relatives with a Tivo, Bridget and I watched an episode of Deal or No Deal wherein one of the ladies holding the cases was held by Ellen DeGeneres.

Oops, wrong picture. Whatever. That got us to talking about talk shows wherein people give away free stuff, such as The Ellen DeGeneres show, and Oprah. Notice that most of these are geared towards women, because women, apparently, like free stuff more than men. When I say that, I mean not only that women like free stuff more than men like free stuff, but also that women like free stuff more than they like men, which I wholly believe to be true. The only problem is that usually, they have to put up with a man to get that free stuff. Bridget, apparently, has not gotten enough free stuff in her life, and said, and I quote, "I want to go on Oprah and Winfrey stuff" without noticing for a minute that she accidentally said something funny. And why shouldn't Oprah's last name be Winfreestuff? Seriously! I suppose the reason is that you don't actually "win" it because she gives a new car to everybody in the audience.

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