Oh, I got hot sause all over my bazito!

You know what this is? It's a brain sucker. You know what it's doing? Filing its tax return

If you wish to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first invent apple pie

The Adventures of Little Ed Brave

Tell airport security your name is McCannister because you can hide anything in a cannister.

You know what? Nobody notices when this changes anyway.

There are 10 types of people in the world: Those who understand binary, and STFU

What happens in a black hole stays in a black hole

The black hole draws you inexorably inward. Time slows. You are likely to be eaten by a grue.

I'd diddle little umdidlie... if she weren't my half-sister.

Abortion prevents pedophilia. In more ways than one!
Get Firefox!
I wrote a haiku

which I was about to share,

but then I thought, "screw it."
Level 1

Notice to all users of the Holodeck:

There are safety protocols in place that cannot be deactivated without the approval of two commanding officers or the captain to protect users of the Holodeck from potential harm. However, every time the Holodeck is ever used in a nontrivial manner, no matter what the safety protocols say, the Holodeck turns into a deathtrap.

Unless you believe yourself to be adept at constructing a forcefield from your communicator and 19th century Earth tools, or you're at the very least not wearing a red shirt, you are strongly advised not to attempt to use the Holodeck until a designer comes up with a safety protocol that doesn't kill you whenever somebody looks at it funny. Even when you're not on the holodeck. Or in the same quadrant. Or time period.

In fact, if you are wearing a red shirt, Starfleet may not be the job for you

« Aliens invade Earth... for real this time!On the Linux Pill »

Quid quid latine dictum sit, altum videtur

Permalink 04/30/08 at 02:22:55 pm, by Ed, 137 words   English (US)
Categories: School

An email recently received by at least 80 people:

Dear Graduate,

Congratulations! You are currently meeting the GPA criteria for Latin
Honors. Our records indicate that you are not attending the
Commencement Ceremony on May 17, 2008. The Office of Financial Aid and
Registrar invites you to pick up a Latin Honor Medallion at the Student
Assistance Center (23 Solon Campus Center) beginning May 1, 2008.
Please be sure to have a picture ID.

Please remember that the honors listed in the Commencement Program are
based on your current, overall U of M GPA. Also, honors criteria
change each academic year and your honors can change based on your final
term GPA. Any honors earned will be noted on both your diploma and
your final transcript.

Student Assistance Center
UMD Office of Financial Aid & Registrar
23 Solon Campus Center
1117 University Drive
Duluth, MN 55812

1 comment

Comment from: Me [Visitor]
Ah, yes, the honor of studying Latin. Did you get one? I mean a letter?
05/01/08 @ 08:34

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