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« Not deadDavid Patrick Harris »

Hardware vs. Hardware

Permalink 07/23/08 at 05:39:31 am, by Ed, 469 words   English (US)
Categories: General

You know, there are two obvious separate classes of hardware. There's the kind that you buy at Best Buy and the kind that you buy at Home Depot. I'll give you a helping hand here: They don't sell computers at Home Depot.

If they have the same name, shouldn't they be related... oh I don't know... in some way? My computer could take a full minute to turn on. My sink? 0 seconds. Don't tell me to get a Mac or install some other OS, or get faster RAM or CPU or start using memristor RAM instead, because all of that is just a patch, not a semantical fix to the language.

No matter what, my sink will always take 0 seconds to turn on, and it will always take 0 seconds to turn off, and it will always be spouting water in the meantime. It doesn't slow down if you leave it on for awhile. It doesn't require a restart if you want to change the temperature of the water. It doesn't need to perform a systems check on the water table if you shut it off while the sink was accessing it (and that's funny if you understand computers and the water table).

In short, my sink is the perfect computer. Sure, it requires a restart every once in a while when the supporting hardware breaks and needs to be replaced (wouldn't want water all over in the cupboard under the sink while the pipes are being changed, after all). But that's the exception rather than the rule.

The hardware has all of the operations embedded, and you can't flash the memory to change that, so there's no worry of programs bogging down the system... as long as my Water Service Provider does a good job of content filtering anyway. And what other operations would I need from my sink? It comes with every program I'd ever need already installed!

Computers, on the other hand, don't even come with an OS. Your best hope there is something like Ubuntu which comes with an Internet browser, some graphics editing tools, some media players, and some office productivity tools already in there. On top of that, there are repositories of programs, and this is the important bit, that offer up everything but the kitchen sink.

Even with all of that, I still can't get the same productivity out of it. Unless I install a water cooling system in my computer. But even then, if it springs a leak, the "computer" version of hardware doesn't interact with water as well as the "sink" version does, does it? And I'm not talking about a heat sink either.

I guess the one thing I can take solace in is the fact that my inbox is the only thing that can get flooded on my computer.

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