Oh, I got hot sause all over my bazito!

You know what this is? It's a brain sucker. You know what it's doing? Filing its tax return

If you wish to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first invent apple pie

The Adventures of Little Ed Brave

Tell airport security your name is McCannister because you can hide anything in a cannister.

You know what? Nobody notices when this changes anyway.

There are 10 types of people in the world: Those who understand binary, and STFU

What happens in a black hole stays in a black hole

The black hole draws you inexorably inward. Time slows. You are likely to be eaten by a grue.

I'd diddle little umdidlie... if she weren't my half-sister.

Abortion prevents pedophilia. In more ways than one!
Get Firefox!
I wrote a haiku

which I was about to share,

but then I thought, "screw it."
Level 1

Notice to all users of the Holodeck:

There are safety protocols in place that cannot be deactivated without the approval of two commanding officers or the captain to protect users of the Holodeck from potential harm. However, every time the Holodeck is ever used in a nontrivial manner, no matter what the safety protocols say, the Holodeck turns into a deathtrap.

Unless you believe yourself to be adept at constructing a forcefield from your communicator and 19th century Earth tools, or you're at the very least not wearing a red shirt, you are strongly advised not to attempt to use the Holodeck until a designer comes up with a safety protocol that doesn't kill you whenever somebody looks at it funny. Even when you're not on the holodeck. Or in the same quadrant. Or time period.

In fact, if you are wearing a red shirt, Starfleet may not be the job for you

« Naughty ExceptionsNot dead »

The penis mightier

Permalink 08/12/08 at 06:09:25 pm, by Ed, 196 words   English (US)
Categories: General

I know everybody agrees that the pen is mightier than the sword. Well, let us proceed on that assumption anyway. Would you then also agree that the printing press is mightier than the matchlock gun? Or the typewriter mightier than the Gatling gun? Is the Xerox copier mightier than the AK-47? Would you indeed say that the laser printer mightier than the nuke or the computer mightier than... the bigger nuke?

Well, no. Probably not. The problem is that even with a thousand swords, you couldn't really destroy everything the pen ever made (or break the bonds of love even). On the other hand, if you had a thousand nukes, you'd destroy everything... well, pretty much everything ever.

On the up side, the computer was instrumental in the creation of the nuke, so it sorta cancels itself out. Once everything is destroyed, you'd have to go through the process of making computers again before you could rebuild the nuke. Actually, you'd probably have to go through the process of making the pen again first.

Well, first, for that matter, you'd probably have to go through the process of growing some lungs and leaving the ocean again.

No feedback yet

Comments are closed for this post.