Oh, I got hot sause all over my bazito!

You know what this is? It's a brain sucker. You know what it's doing? Filing its tax return

If you wish to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first invent apple pie

The Adventures of Little Ed Brave

Tell airport security your name is McCannister because you can hide anything in a cannister.

You know what? Nobody notices when this changes anyway.

There are 10 types of people in the world: Those who understand binary, and STFU

What happens in a black hole stays in a black hole

The black hole draws you inexorably inward. Time slows. You are likely to be eaten by a grue.

I'd diddle little umdidlie... if she weren't my half-sister.

Abortion prevents pedophilia. In more ways than one!
Get Firefox!
I wrote a haiku

which I was about to share,

but then I thought, "screw it."
Level 1

Notice to all users of the Holodeck:

There are safety protocols in place that cannot be deactivated without the approval of two commanding officers or the captain to protect users of the Holodeck from potential harm. However, every time the Holodeck is ever used in a nontrivial manner, no matter what the safety protocols say, the Holodeck turns into a deathtrap.

Unless you believe yourself to be adept at constructing a forcefield from your communicator and 19th century Earth tools, or you're at the very least not wearing a red shirt, you are strongly advised not to attempt to use the Holodeck until a designer comes up with a safety protocol that doesn't kill you whenever somebody looks at it funny. Even when you're not on the holodeck. Or in the same quadrant. Or time period.

In fact, if you are wearing a red shirt, Starfleet may not be the job for you

Ed
« DNA hackingCiv IV: War of Two Cities »

Despite all the cages, I am still just a cat in a rage

Permalink 09/08/08 at 07:28:07 am, by Ed, 213 words   English (US)
Categories: General

On the way to work this morning, I heard the Smashing Pumpkins song mentioned above... except the real one. I was trying to remember the Weird Al version of it, which turns out to be the same lyrics at that point as the real song, apparently.

So I came up with all these alternatives for no good reason!

Despite all the cages, I am still just a cat in a rage (because he's trying to trap mice and it's not working!)

Despite all the pages, I am still just a bibliophage (I don't know what the next step up on the book-eating scale is, but he desperately wants to reach it)

Despite my being a mage, I am still just a man of old age (Sure, you can cast all the magic in the world, but in the end you're just some old guy living in your mom's basement)

Despite my being a sage, I still get feelings of vu ala dej (Sure, you can know all there is to know in the world, but you still might get a deja vu feeling).

Despite all my days, I am still making minimum wage (How much overtime do you need to put in before you actually make more money?)

Note to self: Clip fingernails

No feedback yet

Comments are closed for this post.