Oh, I got hot sause all over my bazito!

You know what this is? It's a brain sucker. You know what it's doing? Filing its tax return

If you wish to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first invent apple pie

The Adventures of Little Ed Brave

Tell airport security your name is McCannister because you can hide anything in a cannister.

You know what? Nobody notices when this changes anyway.

There are 10 types of people in the world: Those who understand binary, and STFU

What happens in a black hole stays in a black hole

The black hole draws you inexorably inward. Time slows. You are likely to be eaten by a grue.

I'd diddle little umdidlie... if she weren't my half-sister.

Abortion prevents pedophilia. In more ways than one!
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I wrote a haiku

which I was about to share,

but then I thought, "screw it."
Level 1

Notice to all users of the Holodeck:

There are safety protocols in place that cannot be deactivated without the approval of two commanding officers or the captain to protect users of the Holodeck from potential harm. However, every time the Holodeck is ever used in a nontrivial manner, no matter what the safety protocols say, the Holodeck turns into a deathtrap.

Unless you believe yourself to be adept at constructing a forcefield from your communicator and 19th century Earth tools, or you're at the very least not wearing a red shirt, you are strongly advised not to attempt to use the Holodeck until a designer comes up with a safety protocol that doesn't kill you whenever somebody looks at it funny. Even when you're not on the holodeck. Or in the same quadrant. Or time period.

In fact, if you are wearing a red shirt, Starfleet may not be the job for you

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Large Hadron Collider... read it right

Permalink 09/10/08 at 06:23:57 am, by Ed, 138 words   English (US)
Categories: General

The Large Hadron Collider gets the switch today. For those of you who don't know, it's a 16-mile long circular tube under France and Switzerland which throws particles at each other. Some say it will answer the greatest questions physics has yet to ask. Some say little green men abducted Elvis. That second category also says that the LHC will destroy the world as we know it, by creating the theoretical Higgs Boson particle (i.e. God particle) which will result a cataclysmic system crash which, coupled with the extermination of Zion, will ultimately result in the extinction of the entire human race.

Okay, they didn't say that part about Zion, but the rest they said. If they're right, well, in case I don't see you before the end of the world, good afternoon, good evening, and goodnight.

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