Oh, I got hot sause all over my bazito!

You know what this is? It's a brain sucker. You know what it's doing? Filing its tax return

If you wish to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first invent apple pie

The Adventures of Little Ed Brave

Tell airport security your name is McCannister because you can hide anything in a cannister.

You know what? Nobody notices when this changes anyway.

There are 10 types of people in the world: Those who understand binary, and STFU

What happens in a black hole stays in a black hole

The black hole draws you inexorably inward. Time slows. You are likely to be eaten by a grue.

I'd diddle little umdidlie... if she weren't my half-sister.

Abortion prevents pedophilia. In more ways than one!
Get Firefox!
I wrote a haiku

which I was about to share,

but then I thought, "screw it."
Level 1

Notice to all users of the Holodeck:

There are safety protocols in place that cannot be deactivated without the approval of two commanding officers or the captain to protect users of the Holodeck from potential harm. However, every time the Holodeck is ever used in a nontrivial manner, no matter what the safety protocols say, the Holodeck turns into a deathtrap.

Unless you believe yourself to be adept at constructing a forcefield from your communicator and 19th century Earth tools, or you're at the very least not wearing a red shirt, you are strongly advised not to attempt to use the Holodeck until a designer comes up with a safety protocol that doesn't kill you whenever somebody looks at it funny. Even when you're not on the holodeck. Or in the same quadrant. Or time period.

In fact, if you are wearing a red shirt, Starfleet may not be the job for you

« Republican DocumentaryHand-To-Forehead moment »

Only 6, 8, and 12, please

Permalink 09/19/08 at 06:57:31 am, by Ed, 356 words   English (US)
Categories: School, Dreams of a phenytoin addict

I had a very long, convoluted dream last night. I believe I was in a group of students being tested for our general intelligence and how well we can find solutions to problems and how good our memory is, etc.

I think Frau Rolling was in charge, which is kinda weird because I haven't had her as a teacher for six years. But that's not all. At one point, we were told to "only pay attention to 6, 8, and 12", which we didn't know what that meant at the time.

Much later, I was in a room with one teammate, and we had to answer questions. Or, we assumed so anyway, it's all very mystic. They just shoved us in a room, and we had to first of all find out what to do in there.

There was a pull chain, so we pulled it, and that turned on an overhead projector with 12 questions on it. We worked through them slowly (one of the questions: How can you tell if a person in a fur coat is about to turn right?), and we got about half-way through before somebody announced our time was up. Everybody else came in, who had gone through the same challenge, as did Frau Rolling, and then mentioned that she had previously said to only do 6, 8, and 12, if you recall?

Apparently by that time, nobody had recalled, because they all did the same thing we did, and stumbled through the hard problems. Numbers 6, 8, and 12 were really easy questions though. We all felt kinda stupid at this point.

I wonder if this came from an experience I had in 6th grade, which was similar (a page full of instructions, the last one being "only do this instruction, and none of the other ones" and we were told to read carefully the entire page before beginning) or from a blurb I read on Penny Arcade at the bottom a few days ago?

By the way, if you're wondering, a man in a fur coat always shows small signs of his body beginning to turn, which cause the fur to ripple, before he actually starts to turn.

No feedback yet

Comments are closed for this post.