Oh, I got hot sause all over my bazito!

You know what this is? It's a brain sucker. You know what it's doing? Filing its tax return

If you wish to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first invent apple pie

The Adventures of Little Ed Brave

Tell airport security your name is McCannister because you can hide anything in a cannister.

You know what? Nobody notices when this changes anyway.

There are 10 types of people in the world: Those who understand binary, and STFU

What happens in a black hole stays in a black hole

The black hole draws you inexorably inward. Time slows. You are likely to be eaten by a grue.

I'd diddle little umdidlie... if she weren't my half-sister.

Abortion prevents pedophilia. In more ways than one!
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I wrote a haiku

which I was about to share,

but then I thought, "screw it."
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Notice to all users of the Holodeck:

There are safety protocols in place that cannot be deactivated without the approval of two commanding officers or the captain to protect users of the Holodeck from potential harm. However, every time the Holodeck is ever used in a nontrivial manner, no matter what the safety protocols say, the Holodeck turns into a deathtrap.

Unless you believe yourself to be adept at constructing a forcefield from your communicator and 19th century Earth tools, or you're at the very least not wearing a red shirt, you are strongly advised not to attempt to use the Holodeck until a designer comes up with a safety protocol that doesn't kill you whenever somebody looks at it funny. Even when you're not on the holodeck. Or in the same quadrant. Or time period.

In fact, if you are wearing a red shirt, Starfleet may not be the job for you

Ed
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Republican Documentary

Permalink 09/21/08 at 07:17:49 am, by Ed, 235 words   English (US)
Categories: Dreams of a phenytoin addict

My dream last night involved various locations, the most important of which was at my brother Ben's house (which in fact looked like my dad's house on the inside). Inside, my brother Joe was making a documentary on a very important portion of the Republican Party's propaganda juggernaut: The Republican Balloon Design Committee.

While being interviewed, the representative said they were attacking on three fronts: the first of which was little elephant balloons. Nothing much to say here. The second was nose balloons. Basically, it's this box with holes on the sides and the back. You put your nose in the hole in the back, and blow out. This inflates the balloon inside the box, forcing it out the holes in the sides. This, of course, was the flagship product of the RBDC. So much so that they never had time to get to the third product, so I don't even know what it was.

There were other portions of the dream, which involved my brother Ben and I driving, and the car kept drifting to the right, about to run into the wall on the side of the bridge, or the cars next to us, every time Ben looked at the map. Not that I think Ben's driving is bad, but I think recently, every time I've been in Ben's car, we had the map out. I was looking at it, though. Not Ben.

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