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Stream Ed New
You know what this is? It's a brain sucker. You know what it's doing? Filing its tax return
If you wish to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first invent apple pie The Adventures of Little Ed Brave Tell airport security your name is McCannister because you can hide anything in a cannister. You know what? Nobody notices when this changes anyway. There are 10 types of people in the world: Those who understand binary, and STFU What happens in a black hole stays in a black hole The black hole draws you inexorably inward. Time slows. You are likely to be eaten by a grue. I'd diddle little umdidlie... if she weren't my half-sister. Abortion prevents pedophilia. In more ways than one!   Notice to all users of the Holodeck: There are safety protocols in place that cannot be deactivated without the approval of two commanding officers or the captain to protect users of the Holodeck from potential harm. However, every time the Holodeck is ever used in a nontrivial manner, no matter what the safety protocols say, the Holodeck turns into a deathtrap. Unless you believe yourself to be adept at constructing a forcefield from your communicator and 19th century Earth tools, or you're at the very least not wearing a red shirt, you are strongly advised not to attempt to use the Holodeck until a designer comes up with a safety protocol that doesn't kill you whenever somebody looks at it funny. Even when you're not on the holodeck. Or in the same quadrant. Or time period. In fact, if you are wearing a red shirt, Starfleet may not be the job for you  |
Archives for: March 2009Edward's TheoremA theorem I have recently devised: Entropy increases over time, doubly so when a cat is present. The original theorem was, "Entropy increases over time, especially when my fiancé decides that nothing is, in fact, garbage any more, but rather a toy for the cat to play with" but it seemed a little too long and too personal. From the world of useless inventionsWe all know about useless inventions. They're usually based on a real invention. Something like a movie based on a book. That original invention is probably based on something else. So the useless invention is more like a book, based on a movie, based on a book. Now here's the interesting bit: Take a treadmill, and put wheels on it! Of course! Now you can run in place, but you don't have to run in place! This is a real thing. Seriously. It's real. Michael Phelps vs HitlerI'm not usually a PC person, and by that I mean politically correct, because I most definitely am a PC person as far as the "not mac" kind of PC goes. Having said that, even I found this just plain terrible. And hilarious: Q: What's the difference between Michael Phelps and Hitler? Buahahaa! Hilarious! Quantum RosesYou know what they say about roses. By any other name, they still prick your finger and make you go, "Damn!" ...or something. It's the gist of it anyway. But what about quantum roses? Quantum physics states that by the very act of observation, one changes the state. So a quantum rose, by any other name, would be a rabbit playing poker with an upside-down Jack of Spades. Which is not a very good hand, considering that you can't really expect to win with high-card. |
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