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Notice to all users of the Holodeck:

There are safety protocols in place that cannot be deactivated without the approval of two commanding officers or the captain to protect users of the Holodeck from potential harm. However, every time the Holodeck is ever used in a nontrivial manner, no matter what the safety protocols say, the Holodeck turns into a deathtrap.

Unless you believe yourself to be adept at constructing a forcefield from your communicator and 19th century Earth tools, or you're at the very least not wearing a red shirt, you are strongly advised not to attempt to use the Holodeck until a designer comes up with a safety protocol that doesn't kill you whenever somebody looks at it funny. Even when you're not on the holodeck. Or in the same quadrant. Or time period.

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Permalink 04/10/09 at 08:57:42 pm, by Ed, 322 words   English (US)
Categories: General, Media

This year marks the first year I will be spending Easter without parental intervention. In fact, there will be no intervention whatsoever, other than, perhaps, my cat Samus, who I wanted to call Cristoph, but it's a girl cat, so that wouldn't have worked out.

I'm alone in the apartment this weekend (except the aforementioned cat to keep me company), and while in the past Easter was always a time we ended up spending with my Grandma, since her birthday is right around this time of the year, this year my egg hunt will reside not in the community room on the first floor of an old folks apartment building, but rather one of two places. Either:

  1. I can hide eggs around the apartment Saturday night, getting totally smashed while doing so, then hunt for them on Sunday
  2. I can hide eggs in the source code for applications and games being soon released by my company, completely forget about them, then find them totally by accident when hitting random button

Neither option presents a great deal of difficulty without the necessity of completely forgetting where I hid them. I think that's the greatest issue with hiding things yourself. When you do it on purpose, you never, ever forget where you put them. But when you're looking for something you always just leave out in the open, so help me resurrected zombie Jesus, there's simply no hope of finding it, ever.

Speaking of which, I find this a particularly moving argument for Secular Humanism over Christianity:
Zombie Jesus
Christianity is the belief that a cosmic Jewish Zombie who was his own father can make you live forever if you eat his flesh, drink his blood, and telepathically tell him you accept him as your master, so he can remove an evil force from your soul that is present in humanity because a rib-woman was convinced by a talking snake to eat from a magical tree.

1 comment

Good for people to know.
04/22/09 @ 08:43

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