Oh, I got hot sause all over my bazito!

You know what this is? It's a brain sucker. You know what it's doing? Filing its tax return

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The Adventures of Little Ed Brave

Tell airport security your name is McCannister because you can hide anything in a cannister.

You know what? Nobody notices when this changes anyway.

There are 10 types of people in the world: Those who understand binary, and STFU

What happens in a black hole stays in a black hole

The black hole draws you inexorably inward. Time slows. You are likely to be eaten by a grue.

I'd diddle little umdidlie... if she weren't my half-sister.

Abortion prevents pedophilia. In more ways than one!
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I wrote a haiku

which I was about to share,

but then I thought, "screw it."
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There are safety protocols in place that cannot be deactivated without the approval of two commanding officers or the captain to protect users of the Holodeck from potential harm. However, every time the Holodeck is ever used in a nontrivial manner, no matter what the safety protocols say, the Holodeck turns into a deathtrap.

Unless you believe yourself to be adept at constructing a forcefield from your communicator and 19th century Earth tools, or you're at the very least not wearing a red shirt, you are strongly advised not to attempt to use the Holodeck until a designer comes up with a safety protocol that doesn't kill you whenever somebody looks at it funny. Even when you're not on the holodeck. Or in the same quadrant. Or time period.

In fact, if you are wearing a red shirt, Starfleet may not be the job for you

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My Epitaph

Permalink 08/28/09 at 06:53:52 am, by Ed, 32 words   English (US)
Categories: General

I realized in the shower this morning exactly what I want my epitaph to be:

Leave flowers here, unless you're queer.
No, wait, even if you're queer.
No Jews though.
Okay, Jews.


Comment from: LCS [Visitor] Email
Hey!!! Nice new Furniture. Good job mounting it, too, but did you really put a nail through your hand?!? I like the wall storage-it seems very compact and looks good too.
08/29/09 @ 00:18
Comment from: LCS [Visitor] Email
about the epitaph - as they say, what you think of in the shower, stays in the shower.....
08/29/09 @ 00:20

Comments are closed for this post.