Oh, I got hot sause all over my bazito!

You know what this is? It's a brain sucker. You know what it's doing? Filing its tax return

If you wish to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first invent apple pie

The Adventures of Little Ed Brave

Tell airport security your name is McCannister because you can hide anything in a cannister.

You know what? Nobody notices when this changes anyway.

There are 10 types of people in the world: Those who understand binary, and STFU

What happens in a black hole stays in a black hole

The black hole draws you inexorably inward. Time slows. You are likely to be eaten by a grue.

I'd diddle little umdidlie... if she weren't my half-sister.

Abortion prevents pedophilia. In more ways than one!
Get Firefox!
I wrote a haiku

which I was about to share,

but then I thought, "screw it."
Level 1

Notice to all users of the Holodeck:

There are safety protocols in place that cannot be deactivated without the approval of two commanding officers or the captain to protect users of the Holodeck from potential harm. However, every time the Holodeck is ever used in a nontrivial manner, no matter what the safety protocols say, the Holodeck turns into a deathtrap.

Unless you believe yourself to be adept at constructing a forcefield from your communicator and 19th century Earth tools, or you're at the very least not wearing a red shirt, you are strongly advised not to attempt to use the Holodeck until a designer comes up with a safety protocol that doesn't kill you whenever somebody looks at it funny. Even when you're not on the holodeck. Or in the same quadrant. Or time period.

In fact, if you are wearing a red shirt, Starfleet may not be the job for you

« A Movie ChronologyWe're stuck »

FCC Sues Sun

Permalink 01/05/10 at 05:57:07 pm, by Ed, 282 words   English (US)
Categories: General

Did you know that the Federal Communications Commission is a government organization set up to monitor and administer transmission on electromagnetic frequencies? One of the main parts of their commission is to ensure that no interference is created between frequencies of EM radiation owned by differing entities. That is to say, make sure Channel 5 doesn't bleed over into Channels 4 and 6.

The FCC administers all frequencies. It is possible to own and use a frequency only if you purchase it, and the FCC, by law, owns all frequencies that it has not explicitly sold or auctioned to other entities. It is therefor illegal to use an 'unused' frequency for personal use without purchasing it from the FCC, and creating a device that creates EM radiation in a frequency that you don't own is illegal.

It is for this reason that the FCC has issued a summons to the Sun, for repeated offenses against part 15 of FCC regulations, often causing nationwide blackouts in radio, television, and other frequencies during its emotional moments while it is casting sunspots. The FCC's settlement requires the Sun to cease all EM transmission until such a time as the Sun is able to purchase the frequencies it uses most often (790-400 THz) and is able to requisition the proper authority to broadcast on frequencies belonging to other entities.

As such, it is expected that the Sun will cease transmission on the following frequencies within the next few days:

  1. 350 - 100 THz (Ultraviolet Light)
  2. 790 - 400 THz (Visible Light)
  3. 2000 - 1000 THz (Infrared Light)

For all those in the affected area, please locate a flashlight in case of emergency. Just know that turning it on is a federal offense punishable by a $5000 fine.

No feedback yet

Comments are closed for this post.