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If only I were Arthur Dent

Permalink 02/20/10 at 08:17:06 am, by Ed, 292 words   English (US)
Categories: General

If you've yet to read my previous blag post, please do so. It pertains.


Okay. So, I relived another nonexistent conversation. I ran through in my head what I would say and do if I were Arthur Dent, main character in Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy and... I really don't know what his job is... and if the Earth were not destroyed. Sorry, but that's not a spoiler alert. It happens in the first ten pages of the first book.

The predicament Arthur would be in is that his house was bulldozed to build a bypass right through what used to be his bedroom. Why? Because it's a bypass. You've got to build bypasses.

He was not notified that his house was to be bulldozed, and the paperwork that was "on display" at the county office (because you've got to regularly go to the county office to make sure your house isn't scheduled for demolition) was, in fact in the unlit the cellar where the stairs had recently ceased to be, in a locked filing cabinet stuck in an unused lavatory, supposedly guarded by a leopard.

So, if I were Arthur Dent, I thought to myself, I would get some paperwork done up in a very bureaucratic way and have it approved by some pompous judge who think they know everything but in fact don't understand the first sentence of the document. Then I would use that paperwork to plan a bypass right through the House of Parliament.

That's what I'd do. If I were Arthur Dent. And the planet never blew up. Let us be thankful that that is not the case. Remember, remember, the 12th of April, I suppose, since I don't recall any dates being mentioned in the book.

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