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Tell airport security your name is McCannister because you can hide anything in a cannister.

You know what? Nobody notices when this changes anyway.

There are 10 types of people in the world: Those who understand binary, and STFU

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The black hole draws you inexorably inward. Time slows. You are likely to be eaten by a grue.

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Notice to all users of the Holodeck:

There are safety protocols in place that cannot be deactivated without the approval of two commanding officers or the captain to protect users of the Holodeck from potential harm. However, every time the Holodeck is ever used in a nontrivial manner, no matter what the safety protocols say, the Holodeck turns into a deathtrap.

Unless you believe yourself to be adept at constructing a forcefield from your communicator and 19th century Earth tools, or you're at the very least not wearing a red shirt, you are strongly advised not to attempt to use the Holodeck until a designer comes up with a safety protocol that doesn't kill you whenever somebody looks at it funny. Even when you're not on the holodeck. Or in the same quadrant. Or time period.

In fact, if you are wearing a red shirt, Starfleet may not be the job for you

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Spring Cleaning '010

Permalink 03/20/10 at 06:48:31 pm, by Ed, 380 words   English (US)
Categories: General

Since it's the first day of Spring, I thought I'd better do the two things associated with Spring: Spring Cleaning and Balancing Eggs.

First of all, by Spring Cleaning, I mean I've got several things on my Desktop that I've been meaning to do something with on the blog, so here goes:

GPP Elevators
My workplace has elevators that are reminiscent of technology with the GPP feature, new from Sirius Cybernetics Corporation, as seen in Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy.

"GPP?" you say, "What's that?"

Well, it's Genuine People Personalities, installed in everything from robots to doors. Whenever the door opens for you, it is with a sigh of contentment, and when closed, it is with the satisfaction of a job well done. You could carry out conversations with them if you wish.

The elevators at my workplace seem to be mimicking elevator operators from the days when people were not expected to understand elevators. When you get on, a voice will say, "Floor one, going up". And at each floor it stops at, the voice will state, "Floor two, going up." "Floor three, going up." and on and on. The only thing left to fully integrate it with Something Hitchhikeresque would be to make a satisfied remark as people get off. Something like, "Floor Six. Thank you for riding me."

Except probably not that, because the woman's voice probably wouldn't convey the right message with that particular phrasing.

On to item two from my desktop, this image that reminds me of how useful I found my Computer Science Theory class to be:

And the third item on my desktop, an observation on Final Fantasy 10, the first voiced Final Fantasy game, but still let you pick out the main character's name. So they got around it with things like, "Oh, Wakka, he's great. And Rikku? She's awesome! Lulu too! And... you! you... you're just... you!"

When I think about it, it reminds me of something Robert De Niro once said:

And finally, egg balancing.

What, everybody balances eggs on the equinox. See, because it's easier on the equinox, when the spin is in balance and balances everything out.

Okay, so it's not actually easier, but you do it because it's Spring and because I said so.

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