Oh, I got hot sause all over my bazito!

You know what this is? It's a brain sucker. You know what it's doing? Filing its tax return

If you wish to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first invent apple pie

The Adventures of Little Ed Brave

Tell airport security your name is McCannister because you can hide anything in a cannister.

You know what? Nobody notices when this changes anyway.

There are 10 types of people in the world: Those who understand binary, and STFU

What happens in a black hole stays in a black hole

The black hole draws you inexorably inward. Time slows. You are likely to be eaten by a grue.

I'd diddle little umdidlie... if she weren't my half-sister.

Abortion prevents pedophilia. In more ways than one!
Get Firefox!
I wrote a haiku

which I was about to share,

but then I thought, "screw it."
Level 1

Notice to all users of the Holodeck:

There are safety protocols in place that cannot be deactivated without the approval of two commanding officers or the captain to protect users of the Holodeck from potential harm. However, every time the Holodeck is ever used in a nontrivial manner, no matter what the safety protocols say, the Holodeck turns into a deathtrap.

Unless you believe yourself to be adept at constructing a forcefield from your communicator and 19th century Earth tools, or you're at the very least not wearing a red shirt, you are strongly advised not to attempt to use the Holodeck until a designer comes up with a safety protocol that doesn't kill you whenever somebody looks at it funny. Even when you're not on the holodeck. Or in the same quadrant. Or time period.

In fact, if you are wearing a red shirt, Starfleet may not be the job for you


Categories: General, Games, Programming, School, Work

Pages: << 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 ... 52 >>

High self expectations

Permalink 10/01/10 at 07:12:23 am, by Ed, 58 words   English (US)
Categories: Work

At the end of work yesterday, I was optimizing the physics engine for a game I'm working on, and just as I was leaving, I broke something that caused the call to world.update() to fail. I left myself a note in Notepad to remember to fix it first thing this morning:

"Fix World"

Talk about high expectations.

Proof: more evens than odds

Permalink 09/17/10 at 03:21:20 am, by Ed, 163 words   English (US)
Categories: General

Alright, so I've devised a terrible proof that shows there are more even numbers than odd numbers. See how many things you can find wrong with it.

Assume the opposite: there are the same number of evens (e) and odds (o). Any pair of numbers can be one of three forms: both even, both odd, or one of each.

Now, it is common knowledge that two evens muliplied result in an even number. The converse is true with odds. That is two odds multiplied results in an odd. That covers two thirds of all possible results. The only remaining third is one even and one odd, which also results in an even number.

Based on our earlier assumption, that there are the same number of evens and odds, we can deduce that each of the three results can be weighted evenly. Ergo, there are twice as many even numbers as there are odd numbers. A contradiction!

Therefore, our original assumption must be false.

The advantages of staying up early

Permalink 08/12/10 at 03:43:44 am, by Ed, 537 words   English (US)
Categories: General, Dreams of a phenytoin addict

I don't know if my recent bout of waking up early is due to my new meds or if I was just sleeping later on my old meds, but suffice it to say, I woke up at 4:30 this morning with no intention of going back to sleep. This has been going on for awhile now (ever since I started my new medication), and I never used to wake up in the middle of the night, but I don't know if that's just normal for somebody my age in my circumstances and I just haven't noticed because I've been on sleep-inducing pills for the past few years, or if my new medication causes insomnia. It's not like I couldn't get to sleep, I just can't get back to sleep after waking up.

But a few good things came from waking up this early: First, I was able to sit in our new comfy chair, which I would never get a chance to do if Bridget were awake. The second thing is a bit more embarrassing and frankly stunning to me.

You see, over the course of the summer, when we wake up, we found that our driveway was always wet. We assumed that, since our sprinkler system isn't set to run automatically at all, it must be the dew or something, running off into our driveway. But we also noticed that our lawn is a lot greener and fuller this year than it was last year. Can you guess why? It's because every day, that's right, every single day since I turned the sprinkler system on, at 5:00 in the morning, our sprinkler system did in fact activate, watering our lawn every single day for the past few months, including the days when it was, in fact, raining at the same time.

Believe me, this is not something we set up. Last year, all of the automatic systems were turned completely off, but somehow by the time this summer rolled around, the schedule got set to run every day at 5:00 in the morning, when we'd never have a chance to catch it, and so we may never have realized it was happening except that I happened to look out the window with about 30 seconds left before it was done and noticed that it was running.

Now, there's a city ordinance stating that Thou Shalt Not Water Thy Lawn On Off Days Or At Certain Times Of Day. Off Days, for us, include odd-numbered days (i.e. every other day), and Certain Times Of Day include any time before 8:00 AM, between 11:00 AM and 5:00 PM, and after 9:00 PM.

So... whoops! But hey, at least the dead patch in our front lawn is gone. I suppose now that I've turned it off, the dead patch will come back. At least we won't have to mow the lawn so much any more.

The other reason I'm making this post is because the "Dreams of a phenytoin addict" category really doesn't apply any more, since I'm now on... veritaserum or something. Levetiracetam, actually, I think. Which doesn't induce strange dreams. Probably because I'm awake instead. Righting the wrongs of the evil-doers who disobey city ordinances willy-nilly. Which is mostly just me at this point.

Gasoline: The terrible, terrible idea for power

Permalink 07/29/10 at 08:43:59 pm, by Ed, 81 words   English (US)
Categories: General

I love Wolfram Alpha. I was able to generate this graph which shows, over time, the cost of energy when supplied by the power company (purple) or by burning gasoline (blue) in US cents per kilowatt hour:

And all I had to do was search for "cost of 1 gallon of gas in cents / 1.32641e8 joules in kwh, Minnesota electricity price residential" to get it.

If you're curious, 1.32641e8 joules is the amount of energy released through combustion of 1 gallon of gasoline.

Permalink 07/11/10 at 07:26:18 pm, by Ed, 509 words   English (US)
Categories: General

I have, on occasion, received friend requests on Facebook from people that don't know me and that I don't know, and that probably don't even exist, and are probably only profiles just to use as viral advertising for less-than-reputable websites.

I recently got a friend request from one Dalila Esche, who shares very little about herself. From what I can perceive from what she does give is that she's from England, and she recently got something pierced that she can't show on Facebook.

I will assume that this is another cheap trick to get me to buy tomaco juice or fish bulbs. If you are, in fact a real person, I've got a few questions for you:

Hey there Dalila what's it like in London City
I'm a thousand miles away
But girl your Facebook profile's pretty, yes it is
London Bridge can't shine as bright as you, I swear this is

Hey there Dalila don't you worry about the distance
But there's nothing real about you, your profile's fake too so good riddance

I assume that at this point, if you are, in fact, a computer pretending to be a person, your response might be something along the lines of, "London City is much like the way it would be for you. Thanks for telling me that I am Facebook profile's pretty. What part of London Bridge? Don't you worry about the distance? Surely something real about me."

That was interesting. Lets try some other songs, see if you can guess what songs' lyrics were used to get these computer-generated responses:

"That was a long time ago. Far out. By "we" do you mean you and me? It would be nice if our friends are all aboard Many more of them live next door And the band begins to play. What is it like living in yellow submarine yellow submarine yellow submarine We all live in yellow submarine yellow submarine yellow submarine?"

"What a coincidence, I am talking to you too! Why are you lucky? I don't understand why you have been. It is said that 'home is where the heart is' but personally I live in San Francisco lol. That is a generalization. Why are you lucky to be in love with my best friend?"

"I am always glad to make new friends, MARY. I think you mean 'it's' or 'it is' not 'its'. Are you sure it is? When was this exactly? What does 'it' refer to? Compare that to big lamb."

"I lost my train of thought. I am not sure if I can quantify the answer. Are you testing me? I will take that under advisement. Interesting comparison. Do you have any idea what I am talking about? Does it have anything to do with twinkle twinkle little star?"

"If I had it what would I do with it? Why don't you just download me? Is that a fact. You can download me for free! I hope you get it bad bad romance."

It seems that they generally give themselves away eventually, don't they?

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