Oh, I got hot sause all over my bazito!

You know what this is? It's a brain sucker. You know what it's doing? Filing its tax return

If you wish to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first invent apple pie

The Adventures of Little Ed Brave

Tell airport security your name is McCannister because you can hide anything in a cannister.

You know what? Nobody notices when this changes anyway.

There are 10 types of people in the world: Those who understand binary, and STFU

What happens in a black hole stays in a black hole

The black hole draws you inexorably inward. Time slows. You are likely to be eaten by a grue.

I'd diddle little umdidlie... if she weren't my half-sister.

Abortion prevents pedophilia. In more ways than one!
Get Firefox!
I wrote a haiku

which I was about to share,

but then I thought, "screw it."
Level 1

Notice to all users of the Holodeck:

There are safety protocols in place that cannot be deactivated without the approval of two commanding officers or the captain to protect users of the Holodeck from potential harm. However, every time the Holodeck is ever used in a nontrivial manner, no matter what the safety protocols say, the Holodeck turns into a deathtrap.

Unless you believe yourself to be adept at constructing a forcefield from your communicator and 19th century Earth tools, or you're at the very least not wearing a red shirt, you are strongly advised not to attempt to use the Holodeck until a designer comes up with a safety protocol that doesn't kill you whenever somebody looks at it funny. Even when you're not on the holodeck. Or in the same quadrant. Or time period.

In fact, if you are wearing a red shirt, Starfleet may not be the job for you


Category: School

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Stocking up on office supplies for the apocalypse

Permalink 09/21/07 at 04:46:45 pm, by Ed, 58 words   English (US)
Categories: School, Media

I've went and stocked up on some office supplies, because I'm kinda low. Three-hole punch, staples, etc.

Speaking of etc. I believe in the power of computing as a pillar of achievement, I believe in the will of the CPU, but most importantly, I believe you have my stapler. Behold, the power of the Swingline.

Swingline Stapler: an angel on high

You may grovel.

Operating Systems make you libertarian

Permalink 09/05/07 at 09:00:43 am, by Ed, 129 words   English (US)
Categories: School, Programming

I was reading my Operating Systems Concepts textbook last night, and I found a few choice quotes that are pretty amusing:

An operating system is similar to a government. Like a government, it performs no useful function...

Admittedly, the rest of that quote is "by itself" but I thought it was funny to include that statement in an operating systems textbook. The other one is more of an aside and a statement on the political views of the authors rather than anything near an analogy to explain part of a textbook.

(Idle Lawyers tend to become politicians, so there is a certain social value in keeping lawyers busy)

This was in the section on multiprogramming. It was really not necessary to throw that out there, but it's funny nevertheless.

Back to school

Permalink 09/03/07 at 11:30:01 pm, by Ed, 139 words   English (US)
Categories: School

And here I am, back at school. My first class is tomorrow at 1:00 PM (you can see my whole schedule using the "What am I doing" link) which is cool, because it means I can stay up late on Mondays and Wednesdays. Even my Mon,Wed,Fri schedule doesn't start until 10:00, so I can have a nice relaxed morning on those other days.

I'll let everybody know how all that works out once I get into the groove. On another note, I will soon be paying my tuition with a credit card, and getting lots and lots of points towards my free $25 Amazon gift card. Whee, $25 for a $3000 payment.

On a third note, Jake has a Wii and I am now addicted to Metroid: Corruption, so you can say your goodbyes now. I'll see you on the far side.

Comparing people

Permalink 07/28/07 at 09:50:56 am, by Ed, 231 words   English (US)
Categories: School

Facebook has an application called "Comparing People", which I recently used to compare some people, and a few rather amusing comparisons came up. It shows you pictures of two of your friends, and asks you a question like "Who is more athletic", and you have to pick which of the two is more athletic. So I got to that very question, and it showed me two people who I never thought of as very athletic, immediately, but the amusing bit is, the two people it showed are the [i]only[/i] two people I know with an afro. But now that I think about it, I think one of them used to play basketball in high school.

Brian: Sorry. I got asked the question, "Who is smarter" about four times in a row, and you were always one of the choices, and... frankly, I wanted to rain on your parade. By my apparent estimate, your IQ is lower than: A sorority girl, a person with Elmo as their profile pic, and two high school kids I know.

Jake: You would probably know the answer to this particular question better than I, so I will await an answer from you. Who is a better dancer, Adelle or Bridget? Ask her to dance with you if you have to. Just don't explain why (I hope she doesn't read this before you do... heheh)

School's Out! Again!

Permalink 06/04/07 at 06:43:51 am, by Ed, 364 words   English (US)
Categories: School

Yaaay! School's out! Wait, didn't I just do this? Oh, yeah, silly high-schoolers and their wait-until-June attitude. You know where that leaves you? About two weeks behind the rest of us! Hah! Take that!

"Take what, Ed? So we got out of school two weeks after you. That's hardly our fault, and besides, who cares?"

Ummm... uhh... suck it! You're... dumb. Stupid! Go away! Hah!

"Now you're just making yourself sound bad. What a forced, poorly-executed comeback. You really need to work on your language skills."

Yeah? Well, you're being pleonastic about it.

"Oh, come on. You learn one word and you can't get over it. Yeah, great, so you know what pleonasm means. Get over yourself. You don't have to use it every single day in every way possible. You're like a little child who just learned a new word and wants to show off. For goodness sake, can't you be a little mature? You're a college student!"


"Oh, for the love of god. I give up."

Hah! I win! I win by forfeit!

"Win? Were we playing a game? You can only win when competing, and I wasn't aware of any true competition going on. I obviously sensed a certain level of animosity directed at me, likely due to your need for a bit of one-upmanship on somebody younger than you, but that can only end badly for both of us. I would suggest that either you actually come up to my level so we might talk as equals, or we stop having this conversation right now."

...wow. That quickly took a turn for the worse. This reminds me of Intertron Drama. Except it's just one person, so no feelings are hurt.

"Did you just say 'Intertron'?"

Yeah. Intertron Drama. ID. It's a word I wish I made up. Actually, I'm not sure if I did or not. I may have.

"Uhuh. Well, I've run out of scathing remarks to say, so I guess I'd better stop talking before I talk myself down to your level. OH! BURN!--"

--Way to be hypocritical--

"--OH, I SO GOT YOU! HAH!" *abscondabscondabscond*

Did he seriously just abscond? Seriously? What... the heck...was that?

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