Oh, I got hot sause all over my bazito!

You know what this is? It's a brain sucker. You know what it's doing? Filing its tax return

If you wish to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first invent apple pie

The Adventures of Little Ed Brave

Tell airport security your name is McCannister because you can hide anything in a cannister.

You know what? Nobody notices when this changes anyway.

There are 10 types of people in the world: Those who understand binary, and STFU

What happens in a black hole stays in a black hole

The black hole draws you inexorably inward. Time slows. You are likely to be eaten by a grue.

I'd diddle little umdidlie... if she weren't my half-sister.

Abortion prevents pedophilia. In more ways than one!
Get Firefox!
I wrote a haiku

which I was about to share,

but then I thought, "screw it."
Level 1

Notice to all users of the Holodeck:

There are safety protocols in place that cannot be deactivated without the approval of two commanding officers or the captain to protect users of the Holodeck from potential harm. However, every time the Holodeck is ever used in a nontrivial manner, no matter what the safety protocols say, the Holodeck turns into a deathtrap.

Unless you believe yourself to be adept at constructing a forcefield from your communicator and 19th century Earth tools, or you're at the very least not wearing a red shirt, you are strongly advised not to attempt to use the Holodeck until a designer comes up with a safety protocol that doesn't kill you whenever somebody looks at it funny. Even when you're not on the holodeck. Or in the same quadrant. Or time period.

In fact, if you are wearing a red shirt, Starfleet may not be the job for you

Ed

Category: School

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I'll school your is out

Permalink 05/05/07 at 11:27:35 am, by Ed, 30 words   English (US)
Categories: School

So, school is out, and only finals remain. We shall see if I die of a heart attack before or after I find out whether I can graduate on time.

30 years ago on Thanksgiving

Permalink 04/16/07 at 09:34:02 pm, by Ed, 65 words   English (US)
Categories: School

My previous post could not have come closer to the Virginia Tech shootings that happened this morning, except maybe if I had posted it this morning. Now, just because I seem anxty (Don't look it up) in my blog, don't go worrying about me shooting up the place and reporting me to the campus police.

Because if you do...

Oh, I'm kidding. Get over yourself.

The sudoku puzzle that broke the camel's back

Permalink 04/15/07 at 11:37:58 pm, by Ed, 259 words   English (US)
Categories: School, Work

I'm a pretty laid-back guy, yeah. Most things, I don't let them bother me. At least, not when you're looking, anyway. What, you say I have a peptic ulcer? Oh, OK. Whatever. I'm sure it will all be fine. The world doesn't stop turning for a peptic ulcer.

What? A twenty-page paper due tomorrow, and I spent all night working on my webpage? I'm sure I can pull it off. It'll be fine.

My security presentation's today, and I have to read half the book for my music class by Wednesday? Don't sweat it. I've got time. I'm sure I do. Between the sentences the teacher is saying, I can read the book.

I got the lowest score on the test in the whole class? Yeah, well, that's not terrible. It's not like I'm a straight-A student anyway. This semester. I'll live. I hope. Just don't bug me.

I'm a month behind on my day-Sudoku-Calendar!? GOD! OH, GOD! WHAT THE HELL HAS THE WORLD COME TO!? IT'S OVER! RUN, BEFORE I STAB SOMEBODY! I SWEAR TO BUDHA'S LEG, SOMEBODY'S ASKIN' FOR A WHOOPIN'! I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE! I may as well slit my wrists now, but I might survive, and then I'd have a huge clean-up job, and I'd have to buy a new keyboard, and it's just not worth it.

Oh, well. Next time. Next time, when I'm at somebody else's house. Then they can clean it up. Well, at least all that yelling has reduced my stress. Funny how you'd think it wouldn't, but it does.

Abusing the system for fun and profit

Permalink 04/11/07 at 09:27:54 pm, by Ed, 134 words   English (US)
Categories: School

Well, I got into two of my theatre classes. They were the two I was crossing my fingers about, too. I'm surprised I still haven't gotten into the one I was sure wasn't going to be a problem. I'm still waiting for a reply email from the prof. As it stands, however, I'm at 18 credits for fall semester. I will probably drop one of my CS classes if I get into the theatre course. Then I can worry about the CS course in the Spring.

Except I was just notified that the head of the CS department wants to have a meeting with me. My first thought was, "Oh crap, what have I plagiarized now?" but since I couldn't think of anything, I'm mostly just curious about what it could be in reference to.

The woas of a Theatre Minor

Permalink 04/10/07 at 07:23:59 pm, by Ed, 140 words   English (US)
Categories: School

News from the battle front:

Being a theatre minor brings more great tales of "whoa". I've registered for my Computer Science classes just fine. But since, apparently, nobody has ever tried to be a theatre minor ever, before, at UMD, there are still kinks to be worked out, which I'm working on, I swear. I couldn't register for a single one of my theatre classes. I've sent out requests for permission, of course, but that will take some time.

But the good news is that I was indeed able to register for my major classes. Not that it doesn't come with a price. I won't be able to do nearly as much Vocal Jazz next year due to a lab at regular VJ time. Ah, to be young again.

Speaking of which, can somebody come clip my fingernails for me?

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