Oh, I got hot sause all over my bazito!

You know what this is? It's a brain sucker. You know what it's doing? Filing its tax return

If you wish to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first invent apple pie

The Adventures of Little Ed Brave

Tell airport security your name is McCannister because you can hide anything in a cannister.

You know what? Nobody notices when this changes anyway.

There are 10 types of people in the world: Those who understand binary, and STFU

What happens in a black hole stays in a black hole

The black hole draws you inexorably inward. Time slows. You are likely to be eaten by a grue.

I'd diddle little umdidlie... if she weren't my half-sister.

Abortion prevents pedophilia. In more ways than one!
Get Firefox!
I wrote a haiku

which I was about to share,

but then I thought, "screw it."
Level 1

Notice to all users of the Holodeck:

There are safety protocols in place that cannot be deactivated without the approval of two commanding officers or the captain to protect users of the Holodeck from potential harm. However, every time the Holodeck is ever used in a nontrivial manner, no matter what the safety protocols say, the Holodeck turns into a deathtrap.

Unless you believe yourself to be adept at constructing a forcefield from your communicator and 19th century Earth tools, or you're at the very least not wearing a red shirt, you are strongly advised not to attempt to use the Holodeck until a designer comes up with a safety protocol that doesn't kill you whenever somebody looks at it funny. Even when you're not on the holodeck. Or in the same quadrant. Or time period.

In fact, if you are wearing a red shirt, Starfleet may not be the job for you


Category: Work

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Advanced Code Signing FTW; Also Apple Sucks

Permalink 09/25/09 at 08:20:58 pm, by Ed, 501 words   English (US)
Categories: Work, Programming

This may not be pertinent to anybody who reads this, but it seems like something I need to share, so that the other two people on the planet who are in similar situations may come across this answer.

Here's the premise:

The binary you uploaded was invalid. The signature was invalid, or it was not signed with an Apple submission certificate

Now, if you're an iPhone developer, you know what this means. It means Apple sucks at getting their shit together. 99% of the time, you've followed the instructions, but the instructions were wanting, and we only wish the error messages were just as bad, but they are essentially non-existent.

There are about a hundred and one ways to get that error message, but apparently nobody else has experienced my particular method yet. After going through several options, I eventually used the application update utility, which gave me a slightly more useful message:

Application failed codesign verification. Please see the console log for additional details

Essentially saying the same thing in different words, but huzzah, we can have somewhere to look for additional details!

After five minutes of finding the console log, I found this gem:

ApplicationLoader[800654]: A sealed resource is missing or invalid

And from there I found out about the codesign utility, which can actually give me a real answer! So, I run the codesign verifier on the app:

codesign -vv helloworld.app
helloworld.app valid on disk

When you upload to the app store, you have to zip your app. I unzipped the file I was uploading and tried it there, and that's the breakthrough I got:

codesign -vv helloworld_unzipped.app
helloworld_unzipped.app /Users/mac1/helloworld_unzipped.app/._order.plist sealed resource is missing

Ahah! Finally, a real filename! But... wait. I don't even have that file in my project! Why is it looking for it? And what's more, why does it say it's fine at first, then I zip it and then unzip it and it's broken!?

Well! I included a certain directory and all of its contents because I want the app to automatically include any new files without changing the project. There was apparently this hidden file in there as well, ._order.plist, which I wasn't even using in the project, and wasn't used anywhere at all, in fact. And also, XCode, Apple's Objective-C IDE, included it as a resource for the project. And also, that particular file is not included when zipping up directories. And also, then unzipping it and doing a diff on the two directories gives no difference, because it ignores hidden files by default. And also, there's a hash of the exact contents of each file and if one of those files is not extant or doesn't have the correct hash, then it's suddenly an invalid application.

So, this all adds up to about 8 hours of work to delete a single file and recompile the application, and suddenly it works!

And that's why I didn't get much work done today.

Ergonomic Keyboards are the crap

Permalink 06/13/09 at 08:51:21 am, by Ed, 73 words   English (US)
Categories: Work, Programming

I had my performance review yesterday. I got me a raise.

In other news, I've added some level of accountability to the website. Whenever my location is updated (anybody can do it! Just click on the first item in the sidebar on the left, just above "Main"), it's logged to a file, including the IP address, time, and the value it was changed to. It's good to keep records on file like this.

The royal we

Permalink 05/14/09 at 11:08:54 am, by Ed, 228 words   English (US)
Categories: Work, Programming

I have noticed that when I program, my comments are in the royal first person, that is to say, the nosism of the royal "we".

An example from my ant hill application:

//If we are being attacked, only run away if we aren't already attacking somethinig else

I don't know if this is normal, or if I just assume that all my actor classes are monarchs. It seems presumptuous, I know, but it just seems like the best solution. If I said "I" instead, it sounds like the class is talking for itself, which it is not, (I am talking for it). Using "You" is no better. I'm not talking to the class, I am making the class.

Really, "we" is the only option that makes sense in the context, unless you wish to take the utilitarian and ultimately dehumanizing route of "it". This is not to say that classes are human in the first place. It removes some of the feeling of sentience from the class, which is fine if you're working on a plain ol' BigInteger class or what have you (though I tend to even give those guys personality). But when you're working on something as visual as an ant, it just destroys the suspension of disbelief. Yeah, I totally just used that phrase while talking about programming. Big whoop, you wanna fight about it?

Happy Life Day!

Permalink 12/23/08 at 06:54:50 am, by Ed, 165 words   English (US)
Categories: Work, Dreams of a phenytoin addict

Today is my last day of work before my Life Day* break. I get a 12-day weekend before I go back, which is not too shabby. Finally, some time to play with my Wii. Oh, yeah. I have a Wii. Also, my company gave me an iPod Touch for Life Day, which is pretty nifty. Who needs a cash bonus when you get a free fricken' iPod Touch!?

Some day I'll get to posting about some of my strange dreams recently again. I remember there was a lion, a transvestite, and more being in high school. You'd think those dreams would go away after not being in school for awhile, but you'd be wrong (I am referring, of course, to the transvestite dreams. I knew a lot of gay people in school).

* - I know, Life Day was originally a harvest festival rather than a solstice festival, but it's grown that way, and everybody thinks it is anyway, and there's no closer Star Wars holiday.

I'm a PC, and I still don't use Windows

Permalink 10/03/08 at 06:56:23 am, by Ed, 124 words   English (US)
Categories: General, Work, Programming

Hello, I'm a PC, and that doesn't necessarily imply that I use Windows. Actually, as of late, I use Mac OS X. But that's only because I'm developing for the iPhone now. And let me tell you, Objective C is a screwed up language. At least, coming from C# and Java, and PHP and Javascript and even Visual Basic, it is a screwed up language.

On the other hand, even on my PC I don't use Windows, so that's the problem I've always had with those ads. They're targeting Windows specifically, but they generalize to the point that they also include Linux (and other variants of Unix) when talking about the PC. Which is funny to me, because Mac OS is a Unix-based OS.

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