Oh, I got hot sause all over my bazito!

You know what this is? It's a brain sucker. You know what it's doing? Filing its tax return

If you wish to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first invent apple pie

The Adventures of Little Ed Brave

Tell airport security your name is McCannister because you can hide anything in a cannister.

You know what? Nobody notices when this changes anyway.

There are 10 types of people in the world: Those who understand binary, and STFU

What happens in a black hole stays in a black hole

The black hole draws you inexorably inward. Time slows. You are likely to be eaten by a grue.

I'd diddle little umdidlie... if she weren't my half-sister.

Abortion prevents pedophilia. In more ways than one!
Get Firefox!
I wrote a haiku

which I was about to share,

but then I thought, "screw it."
Level 1

Notice to all users of the Holodeck:

There are safety protocols in place that cannot be deactivated without the approval of two commanding officers or the captain to protect users of the Holodeck from potential harm. However, every time the Holodeck is ever used in a nontrivial manner, no matter what the safety protocols say, the Holodeck turns into a deathtrap.

Unless you believe yourself to be adept at constructing a forcefield from your communicator and 19th century Earth tools, or you're at the very least not wearing a red shirt, you are strongly advised not to attempt to use the Holodeck until a designer comes up with a safety protocol that doesn't kill you whenever somebody looks at it funny. Even when you're not on the holodeck. Or in the same quadrant. Or time period.

In fact, if you are wearing a red shirt, Starfleet may not be the job for you

Ed

Category: Work

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Three Day Weekend!

Permalink 08/12/07 at 11:35:29 am, by Ed, 614 words   English (US)
Categories: General, Movies, Work

I took Friday off from work to go see the PGI fireworks display. Pretty nifty, except for the delays. And the rain. And the delays. And the woman sitting behind me. And the delays. And the kid sitting behind me. And the delays. And the buzzing in the sound system. And the delays. Other than that, and the delays, it was pretty cool to watch the choreographed fireworks shows. But boy, were there delays. Between and in the middle of every event (about a max of ten minutes of actual action for each event) there was a 30- to 45-minute delay for "safety". Part of this was because there was a 50% chance of rain at any second. And it had in fact rained earlier in the day, making the fireworks sometimes fizzle, and once, when they set of the mega string (a whole curtain of firecrackers lit off at once) which is supposed to take 30 seconds to a minute to completely shoot off several million firecrackers, took about 30 minutes, because they were wet, and those that weren't lit directly fell to the ground and lit off one by one, without slowing down for many, many minutes. And the woman behind me got annoyed every three minutes at the delays. So, for a total of about two hours in delays, thats about forty times I wished they would aim a firework at her head.

One cool thing about the weather was that the entire time we could see lightning off behind the show, so that was cool.

The next day was my company picnic. But oh, let me tell you first, that bad weather always seems to avoid me. Wherever I am, bad weather goes somewhere else. This also works in reverse, as soon as I've left, bad weather shows up out of nowhere. There was apparently a huge storm here in the cities the minute I left, which knocked out the power at 4:30 in the morning on Saturday here. It came back on around 9:30 PM, but some places won't have power back until Tuesday! This was huge! So we went to the company picnic, where power was also out, thank god (I'll tell you in a minute). I won in a drawing a $25 gift card to Olive Garden, my brother won a $25 gift card to Barnes and Noble, and a $100 gift card to Benihana's, which is apparently a kabuki-food restaurant (Ben's wording, not mine).

So I said "thank god" to the power being out, and now I'll tell you why in one word: Karaoke.

After the picnic, we got back home for the first time since we left for the fireworks, not knowing whether the weather was fair or whether the weather was not to our house. It was not. After what seemed like several hours of having fun reading the phone book, we decided to go to a movie.

Let me tell you about Stardust in one sentence. Robert De Niro plays a flaming homosexual air captain, while Magneto narrates, and Peter O'Toole shows up in a cameo role in a movie he's much too good for. This turned out to be a much better movie than I thought it was going to be (and I did think it was going to be a pretty good movie).

And my final revelation for the weekend: integrate from 0 to H the value of S(x) dx where S(x) defines the area of the cross section of a rotational solid to find the volume. In the case of a cone, this is simply pir2, where r=(R/H)*x, R being base radius and H being total height. Doing this, you get piR2H/3. Hah!

Net Worth

Permalink 07/31/07 at 06:53:30 am, by Ed, 24 words   English (US)
Categories: Work

Now would be a good time to mug me. My net worth has increased by an order of magnitude...

Just letting you all know.

I'd rather be a hammer than a... build admin

Permalink 07/23/07 at 08:24:23 pm, by Ed, 213 words   English (US)
Categories: Work

There seems to be a mass exodus taking place at my workplace. There was recently a layoff of about 50 positions worldwide. The local build administrator chose to leave after 10 years, so his job was transfered to some other guy, who decided to leave after the layoffs, so he doesn't get the severance package, but he leaves in about a week or so, which means he's going to have to transfer everything to somebody else in the department for the transition period between when he leaves and the new position is filled, which means a total of 4 transitions for one job within the span of about a month or less.

I bring this up, because they were asking me if I was done with college, and were sad to hear that I had another year to go. They were suggesting that I could do the builds remotely, during my networking class. Which, you know, I'm all for, but I think it would be a little disruptive. And the old old build admin gave me one piece of advice on his last day... "Get a real job." And so I intend to. Or at least, I don't intend to be the build guy for this place. Still, it's nice to know that they considered me.

Back in the groove

Permalink 05/30/07 at 06:02:31 am, by Ed, 127 words   English (US)
Categories: Work

Wherein I describe my rut, or groove, if you want to be equestrian* about it:

I have finally received my badge at work, which means I'm allowed to come and go as I please, without Ben letting me in. I feel a little bit less like a POW** now. But only a little bit. They've still got me in an 8-foot by 8-foot cell. They don't even feed me. But I suppose they do pay me now.

I say I suppose, because I haven't gotten paid yet. I can only assume they will come tomorrow, because they finally told me how to submit my hours. Yeah, you don't do that in prison. Take that, federal-penitentiary-occupants! Hah! I have to submit time-cards!

* - Pedestrian
** - Prisoner on weekdays

Back at work

Permalink 05/21/07 at 06:12:18 am, by Ed, 27 words   English (US)
Categories: General, Work

Here I am, back at work. I'd post a picture of my cube, except it's pretty much the exact same as before, so just imagine that one.

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