Oh, I got hot sause all over my bazito!

You know what this is? It's a brain sucker. You know what it's doing? Filing its tax return

If you wish to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first invent apple pie

The Adventures of Little Ed Brave

Tell airport security your name is McCannister because you can hide anything in a cannister.

You know what? Nobody notices when this changes anyway.

There are 10 types of people in the world: Those who understand binary, and STFU

What happens in a black hole stays in a black hole

The black hole draws you inexorably inward. Time slows. You are likely to be eaten by a grue.

I'd diddle little umdidlie... if she weren't my half-sister.

Abortion prevents pedophilia. In more ways than one!
Get Firefox!
I wrote a haiku

which I was about to share,

but then I thought, "screw it."
Level 1

Notice to all users of the Holodeck:

There are safety protocols in place that cannot be deactivated without the approval of two commanding officers or the captain to protect users of the Holodeck from potential harm. However, every time the Holodeck is ever used in a nontrivial manner, no matter what the safety protocols say, the Holodeck turns into a deathtrap.

Unless you believe yourself to be adept at constructing a forcefield from your communicator and 19th century Earth tools, or you're at the very least not wearing a red shirt, you are strongly advised not to attempt to use the Holodeck until a designer comes up with a safety protocol that doesn't kill you whenever somebody looks at it funny. Even when you're not on the holodeck. Or in the same quadrant. Or time period.

In fact, if you are wearing a red shirt, Starfleet may not be the job for you

Ed

Category: Movies

Pages: << 1 2 3 4 5 >>

Shrek the Third

Permalink 08/20/07 at 06:26:00 pm, by Ed, 82 words   English (US)
Categories: Movies

I got around to writing a review for Shrek the Third finally.

Also, I saw Superbad last night. Very funny movie, for those who get that kind of humor. Not a movie to let your mother see, I think. Unless you're Jessie Siiter or something. I don't know much about your mother, but she seems like the kind of person who would enjoy this movie.

I will get around to writing the review in a few months, if my current statistics hold.

Three Day Weekend!

Permalink 08/12/07 at 11:35:29 am, by Ed, 614 words   English (US)
Categories: General, Movies, Work

I took Friday off from work to go see the PGI fireworks display. Pretty nifty, except for the delays. And the rain. And the delays. And the woman sitting behind me. And the delays. And the kid sitting behind me. And the delays. And the buzzing in the sound system. And the delays. Other than that, and the delays, it was pretty cool to watch the choreographed fireworks shows. But boy, were there delays. Between and in the middle of every event (about a max of ten minutes of actual action for each event) there was a 30- to 45-minute delay for "safety". Part of this was because there was a 50% chance of rain at any second. And it had in fact rained earlier in the day, making the fireworks sometimes fizzle, and once, when they set of the mega string (a whole curtain of firecrackers lit off at once) which is supposed to take 30 seconds to a minute to completely shoot off several million firecrackers, took about 30 minutes, because they were wet, and those that weren't lit directly fell to the ground and lit off one by one, without slowing down for many, many minutes. And the woman behind me got annoyed every three minutes at the delays. So, for a total of about two hours in delays, thats about forty times I wished they would aim a firework at her head.

One cool thing about the weather was that the entire time we could see lightning off behind the show, so that was cool.

The next day was my company picnic. But oh, let me tell you first, that bad weather always seems to avoid me. Wherever I am, bad weather goes somewhere else. This also works in reverse, as soon as I've left, bad weather shows up out of nowhere. There was apparently a huge storm here in the cities the minute I left, which knocked out the power at 4:30 in the morning on Saturday here. It came back on around 9:30 PM, but some places won't have power back until Tuesday! This was huge! So we went to the company picnic, where power was also out, thank god (I'll tell you in a minute). I won in a drawing a $25 gift card to Olive Garden, my brother won a $25 gift card to Barnes and Noble, and a $100 gift card to Benihana's, which is apparently a kabuki-food restaurant (Ben's wording, not mine).

So I said "thank god" to the power being out, and now I'll tell you why in one word: Karaoke.

After the picnic, we got back home for the first time since we left for the fireworks, not knowing whether the weather was fair or whether the weather was not to our house. It was not. After what seemed like several hours of having fun reading the phone book, we decided to go to a movie.

Let me tell you about Stardust in one sentence. Robert De Niro plays a flaming homosexual air captain, while Magneto narrates, and Peter O'Toole shows up in a cameo role in a movie he's much too good for. This turned out to be a much better movie than I thought it was going to be (and I did think it was going to be a pretty good movie).

And my final revelation for the weekend: integrate from 0 to H the value of S(x) dx where S(x) defines the area of the cross section of a rotational solid to find the volume. In the case of a cone, this is simply pir2, where r=(R/H)*x, R being base radius and H being total height. Doing this, you get piR2H/3. Hah!

Permalink 08/07/07 at 02:37:50 pm, by Ed, 111 words   English (US)
Categories: Movies, Media, Twins

Apparently I'm not the only one who mistakes one person for another totally by accident. Take a look at the Wikepedia page on acclaimed director Hayao Miyazaki, director of such animated films as Spirited Away, Princess Mononoke, and Kiki's Delivery Service:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hayao_Miyazaki

For those too buggered to actually go to the page, here's my comparison of the picture given on that page, and a real picture of Hayao Miyazaki:

Perhaps you'd be more familiar with the drawn counterpart comparison:

Yes, that is a picture of Colonel Sanders on the wiki page of Hayao Miyazaki. I'm sure somebody thought it was funny.

I think it's hilarious.

Aliens will harvest your brains

Permalink 06/26/07 at 06:36:47 pm, by Ed, 362 words   English (US)
Categories: General, Movies

Remember 1408? Not the year, the movie I saw a few days ago. I have not been afraid of the dark maybe I was five or six years old. Until Sunday night, when I said to myself, "Boy, that movie was weird." That's what tripped some hidden, buried fear that caused me turn on the lights in the middle of the night, to not even be able to shut my eyes for more than a few seconds before opening them again, just to make sure nobody was standing at the foot of my bed with an axe. I should be so thankful that they would be going after my bed.

It was a strange feeling. "I'm not a child," I said to myself. "I'm 20 years old. Come on!" But to no avail. I was eventually able to convince myself that the movie was most likely not to come true, after having remembered something similar that had happened when I was younger.

When I was maybe seven or eight years old, I watched a TV "documentary" about how there were probably aliens, and they would probably steal your brains in the middle of the night. And it was hosted by Johnathan Frakes, so it all must be true. I remember for about a year after that I was scared half to death every night--one night in particular--that an alien would come take me away. Frankly, I'm half-convinced they did, considering how I turned out.

I remember that one night still, incredibly vividly. I was sleeping on the floor in the living room for some reason. I had fallen asleep (finally, after worrying for what seemed like hours) only to wake up in the middle of the night, to see three long claws hanging over my face. I didn't move for the longest time, wondering why the alien hadn't taken me. Was it dead? Was it waiting for me to fall asleep again? Could it not sense me if I didn't move?

I later found out it that was only the tassels on the edge of the blanket I was sleeping with. Stupid blanket, giving me renewed alien fears for another year and a half.

Permalink 06/24/07 at 01:00:08 pm, by Ed, 22 words   English (US)
Categories: Movies

New movie review. Wasn't even on my list, but I put it on there so I could write a review of it.

<< 1 2 3 4 5 >>