Oh, I got hot sause all over my bazito!

You know what this is? It's a brain sucker. You know what it's doing? Filing its tax return

If you wish to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first invent apple pie

The Adventures of Little Ed Brave

Tell airport security your name is McCannister because you can hide anything in a cannister.

You know what? Nobody notices when this changes anyway.

There are 10 types of people in the world: Those who understand binary, and STFU

What happens in a black hole stays in a black hole

The black hole draws you inexorably inward. Time slows. You are likely to be eaten by a grue.

I'd diddle little umdidlie... if she weren't my half-sister.

Abortion prevents pedophilia. In more ways than one!
Get Firefox!
I wrote a haiku

which I was about to share,

but then I thought, "screw it."
Level 1

Notice to all users of the Holodeck:

There are safety protocols in place that cannot be deactivated without the approval of two commanding officers or the captain to protect users of the Holodeck from potential harm. However, every time the Holodeck is ever used in a nontrivial manner, no matter what the safety protocols say, the Holodeck turns into a deathtrap.

Unless you believe yourself to be adept at constructing a forcefield from your communicator and 19th century Earth tools, or you're at the very least not wearing a red shirt, you are strongly advised not to attempt to use the Holodeck until a designer comes up with a safety protocol that doesn't kill you whenever somebody looks at it funny. Even when you're not on the holodeck. Or in the same quadrant. Or time period.

In fact, if you are wearing a red shirt, Starfleet may not be the job for you


Category: Spam

I am the dead son of my father

Permalink 02/06/08 at 12:55:17 pm, by Ed, 597 words   English (US)
Categories: Spam

Another block of spam worth posting

From : Nicholas Mavis
Abidjan Ivory coast
TEl: +225 47061312

private email : (nicholas_mavisjp10@yahoo.co.jp)



With due respect and with God all thing were possible that is why I call for help to please Permit me to inform you of my desire of going into business relationship with you.
I am Nicholas Mavis the only son of late Mavis Radci, My father was a very wealthy cocoa merchant in Abidjan the economic capital of Ivory coast, my father was poisoned to death by his business associates on the first of January 2007 on their outing for the new year celebration.

My mother died when I was a baby and since then my father took me so special.
Before the death of my father on january 2007 in a private hospital here in Abidjan he secretly called me on his bed side and told me that he has the sum of 9 million United State Dollars. US(9.m) left in fixed /suspense account in one of the prime bank here in Abidjan that he used my name as his only son for the next of Kin in Depositing of the fund.
He told me that I should seek for a foreign partner in a country of my choice where i will transfer this money into and use it for investment purpose such as real estate management or hotel management and also for orphanages, helping the widows, propagating the word of God and to endeavour that the house of God is maintained and building companies where poor God people can work and have their daily feedings with their families.
I pray to God to grant you more blessing to your business and for making up your mind that you will be doing this for the denefit of the people who are in need. i know that God will see you through.
I am honourably seeking your assistance in the
following ways:

(1) To provide a new bank account in where this money
would be transferred into.
(2) To serve as a guardian of this fund since I am
only 22 years old.
(3) To make arrangement for me to come over to your
country to further my education and to secure a
resident permit in your country.
Moreover, I am willing to offer you 25% of the total sum as compensation for your effort/input after the successful transfer of this fund into your nominated account overseas.
All the necessary arrangement has been made at the bank where my late father deposited this money and the Director of the bank told me that as soon as an account of my choice is forwarded to their bank that
they will transfer this money to my destination. Please RING me immediately you received this mail on my direct line 225 47061312 for us to proceed in this transaction which I beleived that in few days you shall call me for good news that you have comfirm my money in an account which you will provide.
Furthermore, you indicate your options towards
assisting me as I believe that this transaction would
be concluded within (3) days you signify
interest to assist me.

Anticipating to hear your voice immediately.
Thanks and God bless you.
Best regards,

Nicholas Mavis
All the relevants documents which my late father used in deposting of this money will be sent to you immediately I hear from you for more confirmation and trust and confidence in this transaction.



Easy + Joy + Powerful = Yahoo! Bookmarks x Toolbar

I win (Ten million Euros)!

Permalink 08/30/07 at 08:58:15 am, by Ed, 281 words   English (US)
Categories: Spam

Please note the poor English, European location, and unlikeliness of the following message I found in my spam box today:

Microsoft Award Team
Carrer Fontana 26, Plaza Cataluña.
08002 Barcelona, Spain.
Ref: BTD/969/07
Batch: 59978ED

Dear Winner,
The prestigious Microsoft and aol has set out and successfully
organized Sweepstakes marking the year 2007 anniversary with a rolled
out sum of €10,000.000.00 (Ten million Euros).

The selection was made through a computer draw system attaching
personalized email addresses to ticket numbers. Microsoft and AOL are
now the largest Internet companies and in an effort to make sure that
Internet Explorer remains the most widely used program, Microsoft and
AOL are running an e-mail beta test.

Your email address as indicated was drawn and attached to ticket
number 0087955827499 with serial numbers BTD/0080648302/07 and drew
the lucky numbers 14-21-30-39-40-47(31) which subsequently won you
€1,000.000.00 (One Million Euros) as one of the 10 jackpot winners in
this draw. You have therefore won the entire winning sum of
€1,000.000.00 (One Million Euros). The draws registered as Draw
number one was conducted in Cataluna region of Spain, on
the 25th of August 2007.

To file your claims, you are to make contact with your designated
agent who shall by duty guide you through the process to facilitate
the release of your prize. Contact your fiduciary agent;

Mr. David Jordi
Microsoft Promotion Award Team
Email: sweepstakes44@aim.com
Tel: 0034.660.369.046

You are advised to contact your fiduciary agent with the following
details to avoid unnecessary delay and complications:

Your Full Name:
Ticket Nº:
Batch Nº:
Private Telephone Nº:

Congratulations from the Staffs & Members of the interactive
Lotteries Board Commission;

Dr. Rose A. Moleno
Microsoft Promotion Team