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Find My Ed -
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Oh, I got hot sause all over my bazito!

You know what this is? It's a brain sucker. You know what it's doing? Filing its tax return

If you wish to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first invent apple pie

The Adventures of Little Ed Brave

Tell airport security your name is McCannister because you can hide anything in a cannister.

You know what? Nobody notices when this changes anyway.

There are 10 types of people in the world: Those who understand binary, and STFU

What happens in a black hole stays in a black hole

The black hole draws you inexorably inward. Time slows. You are likely to be eaten by a grue.

I'd diddle little umdidlie... if she weren't my half-sister.

Abortion prevents pedophilia. In more ways than one!
Get Firefox!
I wrote a haiku

which I was about to share,

but then I thought, "screw it."
Level 1

Notice to all users of the Holodeck:

There are safety protocols in place that cannot be deactivated without the approval of two commanding officers or the captain to protect users of the Holodeck from potential harm. However, every time the Holodeck is ever used in a nontrivial manner, no matter what the safety protocols say, the Holodeck turns into a deathtrap.

Unless you believe yourself to be adept at constructing a forcefield from your communicator and 19th century Earth tools, or you're at the very least not wearing a red shirt, you are strongly advised not to attempt to use the Holodeck until a designer comes up with a safety protocol that doesn't kill you whenever somebody looks at it funny. Even when you're not on the holodeck. Or in the same quadrant. Or time period.

In fact, if you are wearing a red shirt, Starfleet may not be the job for you

Ed

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My desk

Permalink 08/10/11 at 07:49:43 pm, by Ed, 21 words   English (US)
Categories: Media

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This is a simplification of the desk where I sit at home while modeling the desk where I sit at home.

PermalinkPermalink
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Transitive property of cats

Permalink 07/31/11 at 07:56:50 am, by Ed, 242 words   English (US)
Categories: General

The transitive property states that in a set of elements, if an element has a certain relation to a second element, which has the same relation to a third, then the first has the same relation to the third. This can be extended infinitely for an infinite set. For example: a > b, b > c, therefore, a > c

The reflexive property states that an element always has the same relation to itself. That is to say, a = a.

Meow, let's apply this to cats:

If your hand lies on top of a cat, by the reflexive rule, your hand still lies on top of the cat. Applying velocity to your hand, as long as it remains on the cat, then your hand is still on the cat, which is to say, petting a cat is possible as long as it is on top of the cat.

If your hand lies on top of a cat, and that cat lies on top of another cat, by the transitive property, your hand lies on both cats. Therefore, petting the first cat implies that you are petting the second cat as well. As stated ealier, the transitive property can be applied infinitely for an infinite set. Therefore, if you have an infinite stack of cats, petting the topmost cat will give you infinite pleasure, as long as you like petting cats.

Then again, an just seeing an infinite stack of cats may be enough. So cute!


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Heee larious

Permalink 07/21/11 at 06:26:05 pm, by Ed, 4 words   English (US)
Categories: General

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Sort it all out later

Permalink 06/21/11 at 06:39:17 pm, by Ed, 130 words   English (US)
Categories: General

Random thoughts in my head that need to be written down and sorted out later:

Equestria for the name of a land of horses is like Humania being the land of people. Or Mars being the land of Martians. Which I guess it is.

How can Robin Williams be such a dirty, dirty man if he's in children's movies?

What is the average number of floors per capita of an office building? Or of a house or apartment building?

If a warehouse contains wares, does a haunted house contain haunteds? And if a house party is a party that happens at somebody's house, is House M.D. a doctor that happens at somebody's house?

Whatever Happened to Baby Jane?

Where are we going? And why are we in this handbasket?


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27 degrees of separation

Permalink 05/15/11 at 07:13:36 pm, by Ed, 164 words   English (US)
Categories: General

The spokesman for Farmers Insurance, J.K. Simmons, also plays Cave Johnson in the video game Portal 2. Another character in Portal 2, Wheatley, is voiced by Stephen Merchant, who was in the British version of The Office with Ricky Gervais. Now, Ricky Gervais was in The Invention of Lying where Jennifer Garner played his wife. She also happened to be in 13 Going On 30 with Jim Gaffigan who was in an episode of Royal Pains. Another actor in Royal Pains is Bob Gunton, who is known for playing Ethan Kanin on the TV show 24.

You know who else was on 24? Only one President David Palmer, played by Dennis Haysbert. And you know what he's doing nowadays?

...

HE'S THE SPOKESMAN FOR ALLSTATE INSURANCE!! THERE'S A CONNECTION BETWEEN FARMERS INSURANCE AND ALLSTATE INSURANCE. THEY'RE ALL THE SAME!!!!! WE'RE DOOMED

By the way, can anybody else find any more links to add to the chain? I already know of many ways I could shorten it if I needed to.


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