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Find My Ed -
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Oh, I got hot sause all over my bazito!

You know what this is? It's a brain sucker. You know what it's doing? Filing its tax return

If you wish to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first invent apple pie

The Adventures of Little Ed Brave

Tell airport security your name is McCannister because you can hide anything in a cannister.

You know what? Nobody notices when this changes anyway.

There are 10 types of people in the world: Those who understand binary, and STFU

What happens in a black hole stays in a black hole

The black hole draws you inexorably inward. Time slows. You are likely to be eaten by a grue.

I'd diddle little umdidlie... if she weren't my half-sister.

Abortion prevents pedophilia. In more ways than one!
Get Firefox!
I wrote a haiku

which I was about to share,

but then I thought, "screw it."
Level 1

Notice to all users of the Holodeck:

There are safety protocols in place that cannot be deactivated without the approval of two commanding officers or the captain to protect users of the Holodeck from potential harm. However, every time the Holodeck is ever used in a nontrivial manner, no matter what the safety protocols say, the Holodeck turns into a deathtrap.

Unless you believe yourself to be adept at constructing a forcefield from your communicator and 19th century Earth tools, or you're at the very least not wearing a red shirt, you are strongly advised not to attempt to use the Holodeck until a designer comes up with a safety protocol that doesn't kill you whenever somebody looks at it funny. Even when you're not on the holodeck. Or in the same quadrant. Or time period.

In fact, if you are wearing a red shirt, Starfleet may not be the job for you

Ed

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Best arsenal ever

Permalink 11/05/06 at 05:52:27 pm, by Ed, 17 words   English (US)
Categories: General, Media

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I present the lighsaber-rifle. Half lightsaber, half phaser rifle, is it sacrilegious? Or the best arsenal ever?

Lightsaber-rifle

PermalinkPermalink
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An uncommon occurence

Permalink 11/04/06 at 08:11:25 pm, by Ed, 280 words   English (US)
Categories: General

It is not often that something happens to me during the day and I think to myself at the time, "I'm blogging this". Mostly, if something that happened during the day ends up in my blog, it's when I'm writing it that I decide to put it in. However, today, such a strange thing happened, I said to myself out loud, "I'm blogging this."

I went to Best Buy quite by accident this afternoon. I was in a car, it was moving, and suddenly we were at Best Buy. Well, since we were already in the parking lot, it's not like I could just say no. It's Best Buy, after all. Just as I walked in, however, I realized, "Hey, I'm wearing my Geek Squad shirt".

A total accident, a freak of nature, to be sure. I had no intention of either wearing my Geek Squad shirt or going to Best Buy that day. However, these events whirled together out of the realm of possibility and culminated to a reality in which I was standing in the aisle with RAM, USB hubs, and other things in it, drooling over the burnable 25 GB Blue-Ray discs. As I was about to move to a different aisle, having exhausted my salivatory gland, a Best Buy employee walks up to me with three bags in his hand and says, "Hey, want some more Geek Squad shirts?" I, being the quick thinker I am, replied with a smooth, "um... uhh... sure, OK." So he gave them to me and walked away.

So now I have four Geek Squad shirts (all Extra Large). A good investment with a reasonable return.

Well, my Christmas shopping is done.


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Naiive

Permalink 11/03/06 at 08:10:06 pm, by Ed, 171 words   English (US)
Categories: General

Things I've learned Not To Try from consuming too much Science Fiction:

When you work in the future, and computers are self-aware, and we are exploring the galaxy and know of many other sentient biological species that exist, and you build something to be "unbreakable", it would be naiive to assume that whatever you put inside it won't break out.

Honestly, when you have this great amazing plan to take over all of humanity by enslavement of one form or another, and specifically you're insane, I wouldn't count on your plans panning out.

If you ever get the notion that you can travel back in time to change history to your benefit, and you become amazingly wealthy, or a ruler over all things, or save somebody from dying, don't expect it to work out for the best, or at all. Because somebody else will follow you through your wormhole, or you will amazingly find yourself unable to change the past, or even if you do get it done, it won't last.


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