Oh, I got hot sause all over my bazito!

You know what this is? It's a brain sucker. You know what it's doing? Filing its tax return

If you wish to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first invent apple pie

The Adventures of Little Ed Brave

Tell airport security your name is McCannister because you can hide anything in a cannister.

You know what? Nobody notices when this changes anyway.

There are 10 types of people in the world: Those who understand binary, and STFU

What happens in a black hole stays in a black hole

The black hole draws you inexorably inward. Time slows. You are likely to be eaten by a grue.

I'd diddle little umdidlie... if she weren't my half-sister.

Abortion prevents pedophilia. In more ways than one!
Get Firefox!
I wrote a haiku

which I was about to share,

but then I thought, "screw it."
Level 1

Notice to all users of the Holodeck:

There are safety protocols in place that cannot be deactivated without the approval of two commanding officers or the captain to protect users of the Holodeck from potential harm. However, every time the Holodeck is ever used in a nontrivial manner, no matter what the safety protocols say, the Holodeck turns into a deathtrap.

Unless you believe yourself to be adept at constructing a forcefield from your communicator and 19th century Earth tools, or you're at the very least not wearing a red shirt, you are strongly advised not to attempt to use the Holodeck until a designer comes up with a safety protocol that doesn't kill you whenever somebody looks at it funny. Even when you're not on the holodeck. Or in the same quadrant. Or time period.

In fact, if you are wearing a red shirt, Starfleet may not be the job for you


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Permalink 05/22/10 at 01:06:42 am, by Ed, 48 words   English (US)
Categories: General

I was watching a video on YouTube that claimed to be part of a series called "Computer Science Unplugged". I've come up with my own version of what I thought it should look like:

Computer Science Unplugged.

Youtube Hambone Mashup

Permalink 04/29/10 at 08:47:16 pm, by Ed, 28 words   English (US)
Categories: Media

I saw this video just now, and it reminded me of something I saw a long time ago:



False Hope

Permalink 04/19/10 at 09:09:41 pm, by Ed, 113 words   English (US)
Categories: General

I was just watching a commercial:

"I just looked at my phone bill. I realized I was paying too much"
"We looked at our bill, we were paying too much"
"We were paying waaay too much"
"It was just outrageous"
"We looked at all our bills, phone, cable, internet, it was just too much"
"That's why we switched"
"We just had to switch"
"I couldn't believe how much I was overpaying for what I was getting"

At this point, I was all like, Hey, WE pay Comcast way too much for our internet.

"That's why we switched to Comcast"
"We switched to Comcast"
"Comcast Business Class"
"Business Class"
"Comcast Business Class"

Well, shit.


Permalink 04/08/10 at 09:06:59 pm, by Ed, 246 words   English (US)
Categories: General, Programming

I have gathered a large sample of data of where I have been for the past 9 months, as determined by me or random people on the internet who wish to choose where I have been. In case you're wondering, that data is here.

Now that I have that data, I can do fun things with it. The first thing I've done is markov-ize the text. That is, I took the values, and put them into a markov text synthesizer.

A Markov Text Synthesizer can be used to make "real-looking" text out of a large base input. You put stuff in, other sentences come out that have a general flow of the input. That is, statistically speaking, if it sees word or phrase A appear before the word or phrase B often, then the output text is more likely to contain the compound phrase "A B". It makes for something that can kind of come close to generating random babble with correct sentence structure.

Here are some of my more interesting results:

  • Ed good good to work
  • Ed is aware of his computer
  • Ed is at his house in Truman
  • Ed is having a vest
  • Ed is going to his TV as a walk
  • Ed going for a batchelor party
  • Ed is going for a batchelor party
  • Ed is in the couch last night
  • what the apartment

However, my personal favorites are:

Ed is at his stalkers. They are at his computer
Ed is aware of jello

Permalink 03/30/10 at 12:42:45 pm, by Ed, 79 words   English (US)
Categories: Media

So, Cassini's just flyin' around Saturn, looking like a total tourist with one camera always up at its eye, two more dangling around its neck. It decides to flip on the thermal imaging fiddly thing and see what happens. Funny pictures taken in the middle of the night, stuff that it'll probably delete in the morning when it's not drunk. But then, lo and behold, the best sort of image you could ask for from a thermal imaging camera:

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