Oh, I got hot sause all over my bazito!

You know what this is? It's a brain sucker. You know what it's doing? Filing its tax return

If you wish to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first invent apple pie

The Adventures of Little Ed Brave

Tell airport security your name is McCannister because you can hide anything in a cannister.

You know what? Nobody notices when this changes anyway.

There are 10 types of people in the world: Those who understand binary, and STFU

What happens in a black hole stays in a black hole

The black hole draws you inexorably inward. Time slows. You are likely to be eaten by a grue.

I'd diddle little umdidlie... if she weren't my half-sister.

Abortion prevents pedophilia. In more ways than one!
Get Firefox!
I wrote a haiku

which I was about to share,

but then I thought, "screw it."
Level 1

Notice to all users of the Holodeck:

There are safety protocols in place that cannot be deactivated without the approval of two commanding officers or the captain to protect users of the Holodeck from potential harm. However, every time the Holodeck is ever used in a nontrivial manner, no matter what the safety protocols say, the Holodeck turns into a deathtrap.

Unless you believe yourself to be adept at constructing a forcefield from your communicator and 19th century Earth tools, or you're at the very least not wearing a red shirt, you are strongly advised not to attempt to use the Holodeck until a designer comes up with a safety protocol that doesn't kill you whenever somebody looks at it funny. Even when you're not on the holodeck. Or in the same quadrant. Or time period.

In fact, if you are wearing a red shirt, Starfleet may not be the job for you


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Stainpaking work

Permalink 05/21/09 at 07:04:47 pm, by Ed, 275 words   English (US)
Categories: General

So, guess what I am now the proud owner of!

A $197,000 debt! Woo!

Oh, yeah and a house.


I went to work and took a half day.
Then we went to our soon-to-be house to give it a final pre-purchase inspection
Then we went to the title office to sign for our new home.
Then we went to city hall to file homesteading papers for our new home.
Then we went to our new house to get the water meter reading and turned on our water.
Then we went to a neurology clinic in Edina to re-establish the fact that I have epilepsy.
It was about this time that I realized that today was my half-birthday.
Then we went to the mall back home to eat.
Then we went to the clinic by our apartment to get some blood work done for the neurologist.
Then we went to the hospital in Edina to get some blood work done for the neurologist because the clinic by our apartment doesn't do lab work for other hospitals.
Then we went to the apartment and called the gas company to turn the gas on at our new house for hot water and other things.
Then we went to Home Depot and purchased new deadbolts and doorknobs which all work with one key.
Then we went to our new house to install the new deadbolts and doorknobs and start to remove the wallpaper from the bathroom.
Then we went to the apartment, back home, and now I'm sitting here writing this post.

And I thought it was bad when we went in to get our marriage license on Monday.

The royal we

Permalink 05/14/09 at 11:08:54 am, by Ed, 228 words   English (US)
Categories: Work, Programming

I have noticed that when I program, my comments are in the royal first person, that is to say, the nosism of the royal "we".

An example from my ant hill application:

//If we are being attacked, only run away if we aren't already attacking somethinig else

I don't know if this is normal, or if I just assume that all my actor classes are monarchs. It seems presumptuous, I know, but it just seems like the best solution. If I said "I" instead, it sounds like the class is talking for itself, which it is not, (I am talking for it). Using "You" is no better. I'm not talking to the class, I am making the class.

Really, "we" is the only option that makes sense in the context, unless you wish to take the utilitarian and ultimately dehumanizing route of "it". This is not to say that classes are human in the first place. It removes some of the feeling of sentience from the class, which is fine if you're working on a plain ol' BigInteger class or what have you (though I tend to even give those guys personality). But when you're working on something as visual as an ant, it just destroys the suspension of disbelief. Yeah, I totally just used that phrase while talking about programming. Big whoop, you wanna fight about it?

Gollum Lohan

Permalink 04/30/09 at 08:53:31 pm, by Ed, 54 words   English (US)
Categories: Media, Twins

I read today that a group of fans is ready to release The Hunt For Gollumn, a prequel to The Lord of the Rings trilogy. It looked pretty interesting from what I saw in the previews.

Now for a related game! Which of the following images are Gollum, and which ones are Lindsay Lohan?

Just make the whole plain out of the black box stuff!

Permalink 04/27/09 at 06:25:32 am, by Ed, 212 words   English (US)
Categories: Dreams of a phenytoin addict

I was at the theater, practicing, and I didn't even know my lines for the second or third act! Crap! But that's not the issue. The issue was we couldn't figure out how to raise the pit up to be level with the rest of the stage without it bouncing around and everything falling over.

Somebody suggested: Well, since the whole thing is on a lift, let's just lower the reset of the auditorium instead! It's a rather deep shaft, so we can just keep lowering the stage, then lowering the rest of it into place until we're done with the show!

But then I did finally want to rehearse before the show, so I looked at the manual, and it said I had to press A+X+Down all at the same time. So I looked in the index to find where those buttons were. I only had the standard Wiimote, so I couldn't use any of the additions. I couldn't really figure out the diagram, since it looked kinda pixelated and blurry, but that didn't matter, because I couldn't even find the Wiimote!

Incidentally, the auditorium-on-a-lift isn't something I just pulled out of the air. I knew I had seen it somewhere before:


Permalink 04/24/09 at 06:54:05 am, by Ed, 111 words   English (US)
Categories: General

Ant Hill was released on Wednesday. In the first hours, it got 6 five-star reviews, all from people directly involved in the company (i.e. they work less than 50 feet from me). Hours later, another 5-star review came in, this time from somebody only indirectly related (his brother works less than 50 feet from me). The next day, though, we finally had real reviews. 14 ratings: 13 5-star ratings, one 1-star rating, with no description.

You gotta wonder, who does that? The distribution isn't even questionable. People have given it nothing in between. All 5-star ratings, except one guy who just likes giving 1-star reviews to everything? That just ruins the system.

But still! Woo!

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