Oh, I got hot sause all over my bazito!

You know what this is? It's a brain sucker. You know what it's doing? Filing its tax return

If you wish to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first invent apple pie

The Adventures of Little Ed Brave

Tell airport security your name is McCannister because you can hide anything in a cannister.

You know what? Nobody notices when this changes anyway.

There are 10 types of people in the world: Those who understand binary, and STFU

What happens in a black hole stays in a black hole

The black hole draws you inexorably inward. Time slows. You are likely to be eaten by a grue.

I'd diddle little umdidlie... if she weren't my half-sister.

Abortion prevents pedophilia. In more ways than one!
Get Firefox!
I wrote a haiku

which I was about to share,

but then I thought, "screw it."
Level 1

Notice to all users of the Holodeck:

There are safety protocols in place that cannot be deactivated without the approval of two commanding officers or the captain to protect users of the Holodeck from potential harm. However, every time the Holodeck is ever used in a nontrivial manner, no matter what the safety protocols say, the Holodeck turns into a deathtrap.

Unless you believe yourself to be adept at constructing a forcefield from your communicator and 19th century Earth tools, or you're at the very least not wearing a red shirt, you are strongly advised not to attempt to use the Holodeck until a designer comes up with a safety protocol that doesn't kill you whenever somebody looks at it funny. Even when you're not on the holodeck. Or in the same quadrant. Or time period.

In fact, if you are wearing a red shirt, Starfleet may not be the job for you


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Byebye, Vocal Jazz

Permalink 05/01/07 at 05:57:06 pm, by Ed, 216 words   English (US)
Categories: Work

I met with the Vocal Jazz ensemble for the last time today. Of course, I will be back next year, but not full time, due to classes. We're actually getting things organized finally, and taking inventories, and hopefully labeling things soon so we know what's ours when we go elsewhere with their own audio equipment.

The vocal jazz singers really try to be helpful, and try to make things go quicker, but that means that, in the end, we end up stealing 10 cables that aren't ours no matter how well I try to explain to them to NOT TOUCH THE CABLES UNTIL I SAY SO and to ONLY TAKE THE ONES CONNECTED TO YOUR VERY OWN MICROPHONE, AND THAT'S ALL. But somebody is always not paying attention or doing something else at the time, and so we end up with way more coming out than going in.

Which is not necessarily a bad thing from my point of view. But when the vocal jazz ensemble starts being called thieves, it starts to reflect poorly on the university.

But I don't really care about that, so much. It's the last week of school, for Pete's sake! Why should I care about that!? Now, I just have to figure out where I'm moving in less than two weeks...

For future reference

Permalink 04/29/07 at 10:39:17 am, by Ed, 70 words   English (US)
Categories: General

Not everything you see on TV is true:

  • Phase-shift technology does not exist
  • Kryptonite is not merely a mix of the regular elements found on Earth
  • Not every alien race you meet is actually out to get you.
  • Good guys aren't always invincible until the end of the day, and bad guys actually do tend to win some times.
  • But more importantly: A Streetcar Named Desire is not a musical.

My mom ate weird snails

Permalink 04/27/07 at 10:33:06 pm, by Ed, 59 words   English (US)
Categories: General

So, about 15 years ago or so, my mom had gallstones deflated at the Mayo Clinic.

I told you that story to tell you this one: Bridget was diagnosed with gallstones today. She's going to have them removed over the summer some time :-( (that's frowning at the gallstones, not at their removal). Sucks, doesn't it. I hope gallstones aren't contagious...

Permalink 04/24/07 at 03:49:43 pm, by Ed, 17 words   English (US)
Categories: General

Facebook changed my name, finally. I'm now officially Edward Dassmesser.


Speed Runs

Permalink 04/22/07 at 12:32:06 am, by Ed, 4 words   English (US)
Categories: Games, Media

I made this today.

Mario Level 1

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