Oh, I got hot sause all over my bazito!

You know what this is? It's a brain sucker. You know what it's doing? Filing its tax return

If you wish to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first invent apple pie

The Adventures of Little Ed Brave

Tell airport security your name is McCannister because you can hide anything in a cannister.

You know what? Nobody notices when this changes anyway.

There are 10 types of people in the world: Those who understand binary, and STFU

What happens in a black hole stays in a black hole

The black hole draws you inexorably inward. Time slows. You are likely to be eaten by a grue.

I'd diddle little umdidlie... if she weren't my half-sister.

Abortion prevents pedophilia. In more ways than one!
Get Firefox!
I wrote a haiku

which I was about to share,

but then I thought, "screw it."
Level 1

Notice to all users of the Holodeck:

There are safety protocols in place that cannot be deactivated without the approval of two commanding officers or the captain to protect users of the Holodeck from potential harm. However, every time the Holodeck is ever used in a nontrivial manner, no matter what the safety protocols say, the Holodeck turns into a deathtrap.

Unless you believe yourself to be adept at constructing a forcefield from your communicator and 19th century Earth tools, or you're at the very least not wearing a red shirt, you are strongly advised not to attempt to use the Holodeck until a designer comes up with a safety protocol that doesn't kill you whenever somebody looks at it funny. Even when you're not on the holodeck. Or in the same quadrant. Or time period.

In fact, if you are wearing a red shirt, Starfleet may not be the job for you

Ed

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Wordplay

Permalink 04/18/07 at 12:07:21 pm, by Ed, 119 words   English (US)
Categories: General, Games

A man is in a car crash. A nearby pedestrian helps the man out of his car. As soon as the pedestrian helps the man up, the man asks, "Do you help people who are in accidents a lot?"

"Yeah," says the pedestrian, "I'm an EMT. How did you know?"

"Well," says the man, "as soon as you touched me, I just felt this particular ambulance about you."

If a brilliant person has a level of brilliance, why can't an ambulator have a level of ambulance? If a quiet man is surrounded by silence, can't a weary man be surrounded by sighence? If an atrocious man has flagrance, can somebody who's totally pwning in a video game have fragrance?

30 years ago on Thanksgiving

Permalink 04/16/07 at 09:34:02 pm, by Ed, 65 words   English (US)
Categories: School

My previous post could not have come closer to the Virginia Tech shootings that happened this morning, except maybe if I had posted it this morning. Now, just because I seem anxty (Don't look it up) in my blog, don't go worrying about me shooting up the place and reporting me to the campus police.

Because if you do...

Oh, I'm kidding. Get over yourself.

The sudoku puzzle that broke the camel's back

Permalink 04/15/07 at 11:37:58 pm, by Ed, 259 words   English (US)
Categories: School, Work

I'm a pretty laid-back guy, yeah. Most things, I don't let them bother me. At least, not when you're looking, anyway. What, you say I have a peptic ulcer? Oh, OK. Whatever. I'm sure it will all be fine. The world doesn't stop turning for a peptic ulcer.

What? A twenty-page paper due tomorrow, and I spent all night working on my webpage? I'm sure I can pull it off. It'll be fine.

My security presentation's today, and I have to read half the book for my music class by Wednesday? Don't sweat it. I've got time. I'm sure I do. Between the sentences the teacher is saying, I can read the book.

I got the lowest score on the test in the whole class? Yeah, well, that's not terrible. It's not like I'm a straight-A student anyway. This semester. I'll live. I hope. Just don't bug me.

I'm a month behind on my day-Sudoku-Calendar!? GOD! OH, GOD! WHAT THE HELL HAS THE WORLD COME TO!? IT'S OVER! RUN, BEFORE I STAB SOMEBODY! I SWEAR TO BUDHA'S LEG, SOMEBODY'S ASKIN' FOR A WHOOPIN'! I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE! I may as well slit my wrists now, but I might survive, and then I'd have a huge clean-up job, and I'd have to buy a new keyboard, and it's just not worth it.

Oh, well. Next time. Next time, when I'm at somebody else's house. Then they can clean it up. Well, at least all that yelling has reduced my stress. Funny how you'd think it wouldn't, but it does.

Permalink 04/14/07 at 10:29:21 pm, by Ed, 51 words   English (US)
Categories: General

This is a post that was written with a keyboard that's almost useful. It was almost posted in Ubuntu. By a guy who almost installed Linux, on a computer that's almost compatible with other OSs.

How good is almost compatible? About as good as almost using Linux. Don't almost install. Install.

Permalink 04/12/07 at 12:31:51 pm, by Ed, 95 words   English (US)
Categories: Movies, Programming

Deux is a word, right?

Well, anyway, I've added a function to save your own AJAX drawings and they'll automatically be added to the saved images list. I've also added an image of Link. What can I say? I'm a fan of retro.

[Edit:]

I've also changed the Movies page to a Google document. Now, if I like you, I might let you edit my list online automatically thanks to magic. Just ask me!

I've also added a review for The Aristocrats. I will eventually get around to writing reviews for all of them. Eventually.

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