Oh, I got hot sause all over my bazito!

You know what this is? It's a brain sucker. You know what it's doing? Filing its tax return

If you wish to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first invent apple pie

The Adventures of Little Ed Brave

Tell airport security your name is McCannister because you can hide anything in a cannister.

You know what? Nobody notices when this changes anyway.

There are 10 types of people in the world: Those who understand binary, and STFU

What happens in a black hole stays in a black hole

The black hole draws you inexorably inward. Time slows. You are likely to be eaten by a grue.

I'd diddle little umdidlie... if she weren't my half-sister.

Abortion prevents pedophilia. In more ways than one!
Get Firefox!
I wrote a haiku

which I was about to share,

but then I thought, "screw it."
Level 1

Notice to all users of the Holodeck:

There are safety protocols in place that cannot be deactivated without the approval of two commanding officers or the captain to protect users of the Holodeck from potential harm. However, every time the Holodeck is ever used in a nontrivial manner, no matter what the safety protocols say, the Holodeck turns into a deathtrap.

Unless you believe yourself to be adept at constructing a forcefield from your communicator and 19th century Earth tools, or you're at the very least not wearing a red shirt, you are strongly advised not to attempt to use the Holodeck until a designer comes up with a safety protocol that doesn't kill you whenever somebody looks at it funny. Even when you're not on the holodeck. Or in the same quadrant. Or time period.

In fact, if you are wearing a red shirt, Starfleet may not be the job for you


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Welcome... to the PRESSSEEENNNT

Permalink 04/12/07 at 09:23:50 am, by Ed, 246 words   English (US)
Categories: General

I got on a bus this morning with a piece of plastic in my hand. I moved the piece of plastic between two thicker pieces of plastic, and it made a beep, whereupon the bus driver nodded at me, and I took a seat.

Sound amazing? That's the direction technology will be going in the present. They're called Student ID cards, and it's called a Card Reader, and he's called Stanly. They're all part of two amazing old technologies called magnetic strips and human audio recognition. Sound complicated? Well, don't jump ship yet, there's more.

I sat down at my desk and pushed a single button on a large, boxy structure sitting on the desk next to me. The picture frame in front of me reveals that it's no picture frame at all, but an interactive real-time display of the location of a small object on the desk with a string attached to it going into the box. I can move this thing around, and as long as it stays on a special pad designed for it, the display updates in real time to show me where this object is. Amazing, you say? But wait, there's more! There are buttons on this small device, called Mouse, that, when pressed, cause the background to change unpredictably to pictures, documents, or even 3D moving caricatures that respond to the movement of Mouse.

This is the direction of technology in the present. Sound amazing? Well, wait for the future!

Abusing the system for fun and profit

Permalink 04/11/07 at 09:27:54 pm, by Ed, 134 words   English (US)
Categories: School

Well, I got into two of my theatre classes. They were the two I was crossing my fingers about, too. I'm surprised I still haven't gotten into the one I was sure wasn't going to be a problem. I'm still waiting for a reply email from the prof. As it stands, however, I'm at 18 credits for fall semester. I will probably drop one of my CS classes if I get into the theatre course. Then I can worry about the CS course in the Spring.

Except I was just notified that the head of the CS department wants to have a meeting with me. My first thought was, "Oh crap, what have I plagiarized now?" but since I couldn't think of anything, I'm mostly just curious about what it could be in reference to.

The woas of a Theatre Minor

Permalink 04/10/07 at 07:23:59 pm, by Ed, 140 words   English (US)
Categories: School

News from the battle front:

Being a theatre minor brings more great tales of "whoa". I've registered for my Computer Science classes just fine. But since, apparently, nobody has ever tried to be a theatre minor ever, before, at UMD, there are still kinks to be worked out, which I'm working on, I swear. I couldn't register for a single one of my theatre classes. I've sent out requests for permission, of course, but that will take some time.

But the good news is that I was indeed able to register for my major classes. Not that it doesn't come with a price. I won't be able to do nearly as much Vocal Jazz next year due to a lab at regular VJ time. Ah, to be young again.

Speaking of which, can somebody come clip my fingernails for me?

Here I come to save the DAAAY

Permalink 04/10/07 at 10:17:37 am, by Ed, 200 words   English (US)
Categories: General

Today I register for classes for next semester. I could graduate next semester. I don't know how many credits I will need, either 19 or 24, but I could graduate next semester, because all of my required classes fit into my schedule.

I only hope that those people who have already registered haven't filled them up by the time I get to do so myself. I sit here at my computer, food surrounding me, a catheter standing by, just so I don't have to leave this spot for one second until the time comes for me to register. I have all the numbers I need. I just need to copy and paste five or six times, and off I go. Of course, I've already entered my health insurance information, which has always surprised me with its persistence in the past. I start to get into the groove of registering, and then WHAM! STOP WHAT YOU'RE DOING! TAKE TEN MINUTES TO FILL OUT THIS USELESS INFORMATION SO THAT OTHER, MORE PREPARED STUDENTS CAN FILL UP ALL YOUR REQUIRED CLASSES!!! Well, I've taken care of that little nuisance already. Take that, health!

I'll let you know how it goes in exactly 3 hours and 27 minutes.

I'm Baaaaaack

Permalink 04/08/07 at 09:23:38 pm, by Ed, 83 words   English (US)
Categories: General

Okay, so it's annoying, yes. All of my posts are gone, yes. Right now, I don't even have my sidebar up and running yet, no [Edit: Now I do]. But I'm working on it, okay? I don't know if I'll be able to get my posts back. I know I have them imported over at Facebook, so I can try to copy them back here, but the older ones are gone with the wind, I'm afraid.

Let it be known that webhosts suck.

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