Oh, I got hot sause all over my bazito!

You know what this is? It's a brain sucker. You know what it's doing? Filing its tax return

If you wish to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first invent apple pie

The Adventures of Little Ed Brave

Tell airport security your name is McCannister because you can hide anything in a cannister.

You know what? Nobody notices when this changes anyway.

There are 10 types of people in the world: Those who understand binary, and STFU

What happens in a black hole stays in a black hole

The black hole draws you inexorably inward. Time slows. You are likely to be eaten by a grue.

I'd diddle little umdidlie... if she weren't my half-sister.

Abortion prevents pedophilia. In more ways than one!
Get Firefox!
I wrote a haiku

which I was about to share,

but then I thought, "screw it."
Level 1

Notice to all users of the Holodeck:

There are safety protocols in place that cannot be deactivated without the approval of two commanding officers or the captain to protect users of the Holodeck from potential harm. However, every time the Holodeck is ever used in a nontrivial manner, no matter what the safety protocols say, the Holodeck turns into a deathtrap.

Unless you believe yourself to be adept at constructing a forcefield from your communicator and 19th century Earth tools, or you're at the very least not wearing a red shirt, you are strongly advised not to attempt to use the Holodeck until a designer comes up with a safety protocol that doesn't kill you whenever somebody looks at it funny. Even when you're not on the holodeck. Or in the same quadrant. Or time period.

In fact, if you are wearing a red shirt, Starfleet may not be the job for you


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Why don't humans have such fatal errors?

Permalink 01/25/07 at 08:16:49 pm, by Ed, 386 words   English (US)
Categories: Programming

When I boot my computer, shut down my video card capper, and run a certain program, Windows Blue-Screens, and I have to reinstall my mouse and keyboard drivers (Bluetooth). Whenever I run Adobe Photoshop CS, and I click on the splash screen at startup, the program has a fatal error and "must be stopped". When I hook up my old keyboard (to reinstall my new keyboard's drivers) and press the left Windows key, the My Computer icon on my desktop gets renamed 52=-, my current window closes, and Windows Help takes its place. When I try to install Ubuntu Linux 6.10 with my hardware configuration, I can't even boot into the installer unless I take out my graphics card, and when I do try to install it, it stops at 95% every time, thus requiring me to boot into Administrative mode on Windows to fix the Master Boot Record so it doesn't try to boot into a corrupted installation of Linux every time I turn the computer on. If I want to burn a CD, I'd better be sure my RAM is fast enough, otherwise I'll be going through a lot of wasted CDs.

When I stub my toe, you know what happens? It hurts. When I am about to be late for class, you know what happens? I run faster. I adapt. And do you know what happens when I get sick? (My keyboard just crashed) I lay in bed, and I take medicine, and I feel better in the morning. There are no popups, I never have to shut down after reinstalling new software or drivers, and I don't need to take Norton to get rid of that nasty flu. I never bluescreen at all. If I'm writing a paper and my hand is moving too fast and my head can't keep up, I don't have to throw the paper away and start over. My body takes care of itself. Whenever anything bad happens, it adapts to the situation and keeps going. My computer? Not so much. I wish computers would fail gracefully much more often, like this game I was recently playing.

And I would never, ever have to rewrite my entire blog post just because I my hand was pointed at the wrong thing at the wrong time, causing my internet browser to crash.

I don't have time for this

Permalink 01/24/07 at 12:41:31 pm, by Ed, 69 words   English (US)
Categories: General

Despite having classes only on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, I have had to write four things on my hand and email myself twice today alone so that I don't forget all of the things I have to do. And I haven't read nearly any of my books yet.

And now I have to go to class. So I can't write any more. I'll see you on the other side.

It's a hit

Permalink 01/17/07 at 05:17:44 pm, by Ed, 58 words   English (US)
Categories: Movies

I just looked at the web statistics for the beardedchild.com address, and the number-one search referral (the number one thing people search for and come to beardedchild.com or findmyed.com) is "rbd".

That's my movie, for those unawares.

And for those who are curious, tied for 14th is "child killers", "child eaten", and "flesh" among others.

Am I normal, or do I just know crazy people?

Permalink 01/10/07 at 10:22:16 pm, by Ed, 199 words   English (US)
Categories: General

Several people I know have these really weird, crazy dreams that they want to pursue in life that seem very specific and outrageous. More like a plot to a movie than a future goal. And they feel it with all their being, and they are depressed every day that they cannot fulfill their destiny.

But I don't have anything like that. I thought that I was strange, that I was weird. Different. But when I look at that and think, "I'm not like that. I'm mellow. I don't have crazy strange future goals," it makes me wonder whether I really am a madman. Have I gone normal? Or do I just know some really "out there" people?

They write in their blog about their crazy future goal of how they want to move to Japan and have a lover named Miyuuo (conveniently asexual) who will teach them to properly execute a tea ceremony and will own a cherry blossom orchard with them in the mountains and every morning they will look out their window and see a mandarin duck.

I write in my blog about how I don't have a crazy future goal. I guess I am just normal.

Busy, busy, busy

Permalink 01/08/07 at 02:48:38 pm, by Ed, 97 words   English (US)
Categories: General

As school gears up to start again, I've suddenly got lots of stuff I need to do. My online course (Video Game Design) may be canceled, in which case, I've got to drop everything and fix that so I don't get charged for going to school in Crookston because I won't be taking any classes there, and I've got several scholarships I need to take care of. We'll find out if I survive in a couple of days. I'll get back to you.

In other news, I do, in fact, have a life. See "Who Am I?"

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