Oh, I got hot sause all over my bazito!

You know what this is? It's a brain sucker. You know what it's doing? Filing its tax return

If you wish to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first invent apple pie

The Adventures of Little Ed Brave

Tell airport security your name is McCannister because you can hide anything in a cannister.

You know what? Nobody notices when this changes anyway.

There are 10 types of people in the world: Those who understand binary, and STFU

What happens in a black hole stays in a black hole

The black hole draws you inexorably inward. Time slows. You are likely to be eaten by a grue.

I'd diddle little umdidlie... if she weren't my half-sister.

Abortion prevents pedophilia. In more ways than one!
Get Firefox!
I wrote a haiku

which I was about to share,

but then I thought, "screw it."
Level 1

Notice to all users of the Holodeck:

There are safety protocols in place that cannot be deactivated without the approval of two commanding officers or the captain to protect users of the Holodeck from potential harm. However, every time the Holodeck is ever used in a nontrivial manner, no matter what the safety protocols say, the Holodeck turns into a deathtrap.

Unless you believe yourself to be adept at constructing a forcefield from your communicator and 19th century Earth tools, or you're at the very least not wearing a red shirt, you are strongly advised not to attempt to use the Holodeck until a designer comes up with a safety protocol that doesn't kill you whenever somebody looks at it funny. Even when you're not on the holodeck. Or in the same quadrant. Or time period.

In fact, if you are wearing a red shirt, Starfleet may not be the job for you


Latest comments

In response to: Pool Rules Haiku

Joe [Visitor]
Very Nice! Even in the spirit of a Haiku. We could start a whole line of notice / warning signs written in Haiku. Hehe.
PermalinkPermalink 05/24/11 @ 11:23

In response to: Obamba = Kirk

Joe [Visitor]
Did he actually *say* that? Man, I never got to watch all his big things recently. I should probably do that. Then I will laugh and get back to you.
PermalinkPermalink 05/11/11 @ 07:18

In response to: My eclectic car

Joe [Visitor]
Hahaha ... Really? I'm impressed at how they were able to make it run on literally ANY member of the British royal family. I mean did they have to modify it after the wedding at all? Wow. I might want one of those instead of a Chevy volt now.
PermalinkPermalink 05/11/11 @ 07:14

In response to: Why women ramble

Anne [Visitor]
Bwaaaahahahhah...Ed, you are simply brilliant. ;)
PermalinkPermalink 04/01/10 @ 09:18

In response to: The Universe: Full of awesome

Bridget [Visitor]
Go pac-man! :) Or should I say, pac-moon?? :D
PermalinkPermalink 03/31/10 @ 06:04

In response to: My name on my underwear

cpages [Visitor]
yeah, what about the underwear?
PermalinkPermalink 02/11/10 @ 23:30

In response to: Finish Him!

cpages [Visitor]
What - ?
PermalinkPermalink 02/11/10 @ 23:21

In response to: Tourettes due to Football

Christopher Duff [Visitor]
You totally forgot about "Son of a Bitch" and "Hold on to the fucking football"
PermalinkPermalink 01/25/10 @ 17:59

In response to: Advanced Code Signing FTW; Also Apple Sucks

Did you try calling Apple? They probably could have just told you the answer... hehe. But look how good you are at puzzle-solving! Sometimes I wonder how healthy it is to get so good at critical thinking though... there seem to be a lot of people who are far too good at the "critical" part, on some message boards and chat rooms these days :)
PermalinkPermalink 10/05/09 @ 09:04

In response to: Advanced Code Signing FTW; Also Apple Sucks

Ed [Member]
You'd think so, and I already tried THE INTERNET, but that wasn't helpful, so I didn't know where else to look.
PermalinkPermalink 10/05/09 @ 06:51

In response to: Advanced Code Signing FTW; Also Apple Sucks

Me [Visitor]
Seems like there should be some place one could get answers faster than having to figure out everything "from scratch", since no one has to invent Apple Pie these days....heh
PermalinkPermalink 10/05/09 @ 01:05

In response to: Snap Decisions

LCS [Visitor]
Nice TV. Is this what Ben has?
PermalinkPermalink 08/29/09 @ 00:26

In response to: My Epitaph

LCS [Visitor]
about the epitaph - as they say, what you think of in the shower, stays in the shower.....
PermalinkPermalink 08/29/09 @ 00:20

In response to: My Epitaph

LCS [Visitor]
Hey!!! Nice new Furniture. Good job mounting it, too, but did you really put a nail through your hand?!? I like the wall storage-it seems very compact and looks good too.
PermalinkPermalink 08/29/09 @ 00:18

In response to: Quit with the ratings, seriously

True, but what about this: http://www.findmyed.com/mirrormask.php
Don't tell me that's not valid - I base ALL my important movie-watching decisions on this list...
Just saying - also, speaking of that: I think "magra zarking fahrbot" would be more appropriate... :)
PermalinkPermalink 08/20/09 @ 07:16

In response to: Quit with the ratings, seriously

LCS [Visitor]
I have agreed with what you just wrote for...ever.....
PermalinkPermalink 08/18/09 @ 19:31

In response to: Not My Job

tunebeach [Visitor]
You are the ONLY person I know who dreams in such amazing clarity! You really must have too many connections in your brain! I hope they stop causing you problems, if they still do. (seizing the day, et al) But it's still pretty cool in some ways. I think you must have superpowers. What are they?
PermalinkPermalink 06/13/09 @ 20:09

In response to: Just make the whole plain out of the black box stuff!

Joe [Visitor]
Now that's just overkill. Really cool overkill.
PermalinkPermalink 05/14/09 @ 11:14

In response to: Philosophy sucks

John [Visitor]
Well it's 2009, and you wrote this blog in 2007, so I hope you have found meaning to your life. Some philosophers are depressing people, but it's founders were not. That old saying "Philosophy is the love of wisdom" is the key to philosophy. Now the existence in life is something that has been talked about and debated throughout time. Christians believe that we exist to worship God so we can live in Heaven in the afterlife. Philosophers believe that we need to educate ourselves to gain wisdom HP points. Whatever it may be, life is what YOU make of it. I study philosophy, but I am not a philosopher. I come up with my own ideas, my own views, and if they happen to be what a dead philosopher might believe, then I'll study that philosopher.

So while you're seeking answers the best thing to do is just live. Find what you like to do. If your mind wonders to different things, choose one as a career and keep others as hobbies. Don't read books by philosophers if you're seeking the meaning of life. You'll just get angry and hate philosophy.
PermalinkPermalink 05/01/09 @ 01:35

In response to: Ready, Set, Stop!

Good for people to know.
PermalinkPermalink 04/22/09 @ 08:43