Oh, I got hot sause all over my bazito!

You know what this is? It's a brain sucker. You know what it's doing? Filing its tax return

If you wish to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first invent apple pie

The Adventures of Little Ed Brave

Tell airport security your name is McCannister because you can hide anything in a cannister.

You know what? Nobody notices when this changes anyway.

There are 10 types of people in the world: Those who understand binary, and STFU

What happens in a black hole stays in a black hole

The black hole draws you inexorably inward. Time slows. You are likely to be eaten by a grue.

I'd diddle little umdidlie... if she weren't my half-sister.

Abortion prevents pedophilia. In more ways than one!
Get Firefox!
I wrote a haiku

which I was about to share,

but then I thought, "screw it."
Level 1

Notice to all users of the Holodeck:

There are safety protocols in place that cannot be deactivated without the approval of two commanding officers or the captain to protect users of the Holodeck from potential harm. However, every time the Holodeck is ever used in a nontrivial manner, no matter what the safety protocols say, the Holodeck turns into a deathtrap.

Unless you believe yourself to be adept at constructing a forcefield from your communicator and 19th century Earth tools, or you're at the very least not wearing a red shirt, you are strongly advised not to attempt to use the Holodeck until a designer comes up with a safety protocol that doesn't kill you whenever somebody looks at it funny. Even when you're not on the holodeck. Or in the same quadrant. Or time period.

In fact, if you are wearing a red shirt, Starfleet may not be the job for you

Ed

1408

SkullSkullSkullSkullSkullSkullSkullSkullSkullSkull

--"Why don't you just kill me? "
"Because you have freewill, Mr. Enslin. You can either choose to live this hour over and over again, or you can take advantage of our express checkout service."

1408. A movie that was not on my list of movies I have to see. Not a movie I've even ever heard of before today. And yet, here I am, writing a review of it. Michael Enslin, gosthunter extraordinaire, writes books about haunted hotels. That's what he does. It's his job. And he works for Tony Shalhoub. Well, the actor who plays his boss is Tony Shalhoub anyway, which pretty much makes anything good.

Anyway, Michael gets an invitation, as he often does from hotels, to the Dolphin hotel in New York. The odd thing about it is that it's an invitation not to stay in room 1408. So of course he does. But not without a considerable amount of protest from the manager, played by Mace Windu. He says his famous Snakes line, well, almost anyway. It made me smile.

So Michael stays in the room, and about 10 minutes in, everything goes to Hell. Literaly. Although the discrete maid service is to be commended, the murderous ghosts could use a training session in customer care, and the blood-walls could maybe be a little reinforced. Otherwise, it's your standard hotel room. Without it, it's your standard horror film, so I give it 10 skulls.

Since this is the first horror movie on my list, we don't know how many skulls is max, but at least it got 10 instead of 3. Because obviously, the max is at least 10. We'll have to see, when I review another horror film some time. In any case, I recommend the movie for those who like good movies. Yeah, crappy ending to the review, I know, but I'm preoccupied with hunger and TV.

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