Oh, I got hot sause all over my bazito!

You know what this is? It's a brain sucker. You know what it's doing? Filing its tax return

If you wish to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first invent apple pie

The Adventures of Little Ed Brave

Tell airport security your name is McCannister because you can hide anything in a cannister.

You know what? Nobody notices when this changes anyway.

There are 10 types of people in the world: Those who understand binary, and STFU

What happens in a black hole stays in a black hole

The black hole draws you inexorably inward. Time slows. You are likely to be eaten by a grue.

I'd diddle little umdidlie... if she weren't my half-sister.

Abortion prevents pedophilia. In more ways than one!
Get Firefox!
I wrote a haiku

which I was about to share,

but then I thought, "screw it."
Level 1

Notice to all users of the Holodeck:

There are safety protocols in place that cannot be deactivated without the approval of two commanding officers or the captain to protect users of the Holodeck from potential harm. However, every time the Holodeck is ever used in a nontrivial manner, no matter what the safety protocols say, the Holodeck turns into a deathtrap.

Unless you believe yourself to be adept at constructing a forcefield from your communicator and 19th century Earth tools, or you're at the very least not wearing a red shirt, you are strongly advised not to attempt to use the Holodeck until a designer comes up with a safety protocol that doesn't kill you whenever somebody looks at it funny. Even when you're not on the holodeck. Or in the same quadrant. Or time period.

In fact, if you are wearing a red shirt, Starfleet may not be the job for you


Who Am I?

Old Version

I miss somebody right now. I don't watch much TV these days. I own lots of books.
I wear glasses or contact lenses. I love to play video games. × I've tried marijuana.
× I've watched porn movies. I have been the psycho-ex in a past relationship.  (heheheheheheheh) I believe honesty is usually the best policy.
× I curse sometimes. I have changed a lot mentally over the last year. I carry my knife/razor everywhere with me.
× I have broken someone's bones. × I have a secret that I am ashamed to reveal. × I hate the rain.
I'm paranoid at times. × I would get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, free of cost, and scar-free. × I need/want money right now.
× I love sushi. × I talk really, really fast. × I have fresh breath in the morning.
× I have long hair. × I have lost money in Las Vegas. I have at least one sibling.
× I was born in a country outside of the U.S. × I have worn fake hair/fingernails/eyelashes in the past. × I couldn't survive without Caller I.D.
I like the way that I look. I have lied to a good friend in the last 6 months.  (That's all I ever do) I am usually pessimistic.
I have a lot of mood swings. I think prostitution should be legalized.  (Not for any personal reasons. Only because I don't see why it should be illegal; It's not immoral if you really analyze it, and if legalized, it could be regulated, made safer, and taxed.) I slept with a roommate.  (Well, they're you're roommate. Oh, you mean in the SAME bed? Well, no. Not that.)
I have a hidden talent. × I'm always hyper no matter how much sugar I have. × I have a lot of friends.
× I have pecked someone of the same sex. × I enjoy talking on the phone.   (Dear god no) × I practically live in sweatpants or PJ pants.
× I love to shop and/or window shop. × I'm obsessed with my Xanga or Livejournal(I don't even have either of these (any more -- Had a Xanga once).) × I'm completely embarrassed to be seen with my mother.
× I have a mobile phone. I have passed out drunk in the past 6 months.  (Oh YEAH! HOO BABY!!!!!! ROX OUTZ!...) × I've rejected someone before.
I currently like/love someone. × I have no idea what I want to do for the rest of my life. × I want to have children in the future.
× I have changed a diaper before. × I've called the cops on a friend before. I'm not allergic to anything.  (Exceot, I think, Keflex, which I've never seen or been near that I can remember (only once when I was a baby apparently))
I have a lot to learn. × I am shy around the opposite sex.  (I'm not shy around ANYBODY) × I'm online 24/7, even as an away message.
× I have at least 5 away messages saved. × I have tried alcohol or drugs before. × I have made a move on a friend's significant other or crush in the past.  (I'm not the kind of person to make a move. At all. I'm really rather a pushover)
× I own the "South Park" movie. × I have avoided assignments at work/school to be on Xanga or Livejournal. × I enjoy some country music(gag me with a spoon)
× I would die for my best friends. I'm obsessive, and often a perfectionist.  (dear god yes) × I have used my sexuality to advance my career.
I think Halloween is awesome because you get free candy. × I have dated a close friend's ex. × I am happy at this moment.
× I'm obsessed with guys. Democrat.  (Mostly) × Republican.
× I don't even know what I am. × I am punk rockish. × I go for older guys/girls, not younger.  (One of each so far)
× I study for tests most of the time.  (The last time I studied for a test was my Physics final. Before that, my previous Physics test. Before that, my Calc-II final 2 years ago. Before that, once in 10th grade (because my dad made me). Before that, I have no recollection of studying.) × I tie my shoelaces differently from anyone I've ever met. I can work on a car.  (Yes, I can work whilst sitting on top of a car. Oh, you mean like mechanically altering the car itself? You might as well ask me to build a space-shuttle. Which I might be more apt to try.)
× I love my job(s). I am comfortable with who I am right now.  (Meh. I'm not UNcomfortable) × I have more than just my ears pierced.
× I walk barefoot wherever I can. I have jumped off a bridge.  (But it was less than two feet above the ground.) × I love sea turtles.
I spend ridiculous amounts of money on makeup.  (Shhh) × I plan on achieving a major goal/dream. × I am proficient on a musical instrument.
× I hate office jobs. I went to college out of state.  (I didn't ATTEND, but I was there for a day.) × I am adopted.
× I am a pyro. × I have thrown up from crying too much. × I have been intentionally hurt by people that I loved.
× I fall for the worst people. × I adore bright colours. × I usually like covers better than originals.   (I don't even know what that means. Does that make me unhip to the savy crowd?)
× I hate chain theme restaurants like Applebees and TGIFridays(Those have themes?) I can pick up things with my toes.  (Prehensile feet are the BEST EVER) × I can't whistle.
I have ridden/owned a horse.  ("I touched a Horse once") × I still have every journal I've ever written in. × I talk in my sleep.  (How should I know?)
× I've often thought that I was born in the wrong century. × I try to forget things by drowning them out with loads of distractions. × I wear a toe ring.
I have a tattoo.  (It's in my desk drawer at home, waiting to be applied.) × I can't stand at LEAST one person that I work with.  (I don't work WITH people.) I am a caffeine junkie.  (Pretty sure I turned into one now that I've got this 9-5 job that extends to be 10 hours long.)
× I am completely tree-huggy spiritual, and I'm not ashamed at all. If I knew I would get away with it, I would commit at least one murder.  (Heck, even if I couldn't...wait) × I will collect anything, and the more nonsensical, the better.
× I enjoy a nice glass of wine with dinner. I'm an artist.  (In some sense of the word, I suppose) × I am ambidextrous.
× I sleep with so many stuffed animals, I can hardly fit on my bed. × If it weren't for having to see other people naked, I'd live in a nudist colony(Hah! That made me laugh) I have terrible teeth.  (I keep them in a jar under my bed)
I hate my toes.  (I keep them in a jar under my bed) I did this meme even though I wasn't tagged by the person who took it before me. I have more friends on the internet than in real life.  (The nice thing about online friends is you don't have to even know them)
I have lived in either three different states or countries.  (North Dakota, Michigan, and Zimbabwe) I am extremely flexible. I love hugs more than kisses.
× I want to own my own business. × I smoke. I spend way too much time on the computer than on anything else.  (What's that? Why can't I pick it up? What do you mean I can't just CLICK on it?)
Nobody has ever said I'm normal.  (That's not the kind of thing that comes up in conversations anywhere, really. But especially with me.) × Sad movies, games, and the like can cause a trickle of tears every now and then.  (The last time I truthfully cried was at least 5 years ago.) I am proficient in the use of many types of firearms and combat weapons.  (Tenloss disruptor rifle, DL-44 Blaster, Stouker Concussion rifle, Lightsaber...)
I like the way women look in stylized men's suits.  (I like the way women look in general ;-)) I don't like it when people are unpleased or seem unpleased with me.  (Am I supposed to be pleased?) × I have been described as a dreamer or likely to have my head up in the clouds.
× I have played strip poker with someone else before. I have had emotional problems for which I have sought professional help.  (Yeah, but they never GAVE it to me) × I believe in ghosts and the paranormal.
× I can't stand being alone. I have at least one obsession at any given time. × I weigh myself, pee/poo, and then weigh myself again.  (That'd be amusing.)
× I consistently spend way too much money on obsessions-of-the-moment. × I'm a judgmental asshole. × I'm a HUGE drama-queen.
× I have travelled on more than one continent. × I sometimes wish my father would just disappear. × I need people to tell me I'm good at something in order to feel that I am.
I am a Libertarian. I can speak more than one language.  (Does C++ count as a language?) I can fall asleep even if the whole room is as noisy as it can be.  (If I'm tired enough. I remember one time I fell asleep in a resturaunt)
I would rather read than watch TV.  (It's so much quieter) × I like reading fact more than fiction. × I have pulled an all-nighter on an assignment I was given a month to do.  (Ahah... I never have assignments that are that long.)
I have no piercings.  (Boring, I know, but I'd rather not give people another place to pull me around by.) I have spent the night in a train station or other public place.  (But I wasn't asleep at the time) × I have been so upset over my physical gender that I cried.
× I once spent Christmas completely alone because there was a miscommunication on which parent was supposed to have me that night.  (They usually take care of me more rather than less) There have been times when I have wondered "Why was I born?" and may/may not have cried over it.  (Only in the purely metaphysical sense, of "Why existence?") × I like most animals better than most people.
I own a collection of retro games consoles.  (And they were purchased when they weren't.) × The thought of physical exercise makes me shiver.  (Actually, contrary to popular belief, no.) × I have hit someone with a dead fish(I would SO LOVE to have been able to say yes)
I am compulsively honest.  (Damnit, I checked it) I was born with a congenital birth defect that has never been repaired.  (Yes, it's called Life.) × I have danced topless in front of dozens of complete strangers.
× I have gone from wishing I was a girl to revelling in being a boy to feeling like a girl again in the span of five minutes, and not cared a whit for my actual sex(I don't do this kind of strange thing. I guess I AM normal.) × I am unashamedly bisexual, and have different motivations for my desires for different genders. I sometimes won't sleep a whole night or eat a whole day because I forget to.  (heheheheheheh)
× I find it impossible to get to sleep without some kind of music on. × I dislike milk. × I obsessively wash my hands.
× I always carry something significant around with me. Sometimes I'd rather wear a wig in day-to-day life than use my own hair.  (Just because it would be so AWESOME! I'd get one that I could take off and hold it in my arms and make it look like a shaggy dog.) × I've pushed myself to become more self-aware and thereby more aware of others.
× Even though I live on my own I still cry sometimes because I miss my mother. I hand wrote all the HTML tags in this document.  (Uh, DUH) I've liked something which a majority of people claimed was either bad or weird.  (In general, I like most movies)
× I have been clinically dead for a brief period of time.  (Well, not clinically, but only because there wasn't a real doctor there. But there was a nurse's aid who couldn't find a pulse...) Instead of feeling sympathy/empathy with people and their problems, I simply become annoyed.  (Yeah, I'm a bastard) × I participate/have participated in auto drag races and won.
× I do not 'get' most comedy acts(How is that even possible?) I don't think strippers are money-greedy or slutty for dancing.  (It's just another proffession in my opinion) I don't like to chew gum.  (Not often anyway)
× I am obsessed with history/historical things and can't wait for someone to build a time machine so I can be the first to use it. × I can never remember for the life of me where I parked the car(Since I've only ever parked the car like twice, it's not gotten very hard yet) × I had the TEEN ANGST thing going for at least 2-3 years.  (I'm not entirely sure what that IS, because I don't have the kind of friends who tell me, and my parents are artists)
I wish people would be more empathic and honest with each other.  (Purposeful, obvious lying annoys me more than anything else in the world) I play Dungeons and Dragons weekly.  (For one week, once) I love to sing.
× I want to live in my mother's basement when I grow up.  (Funny story... I live on the main floor of my brother's house, and my mother lives in the basement) I have a custom-built computer.  (Not one that I use, but I have it somewhere around here.) × I want to create a certain someone's babies, even though there's a 0% possiblity of ever achieving it.  (Keanu Reeves, here I come!)
× I would be in a relationship with one of my pets if they were human.  (I don't have any pets. I'm that boring.) I've gone skinny-dipping.  (Does the bathtub count?) I've performed in three plays.  (Dear god, at least three. And I still remember my lines too.)
I enjoy burritos. I'm Irish and loving it.  (Probably a little bit. And if I am, I certainly do love the fact that I am.) × I have a thing for redheads.
I am a twin!  (Meet my twin. His name is Ed.) Most of the times, I'd rather do something intellectual instead of doing something generically 'fun'.  (I don't really get generically "fun" things. They just aren't fun.) Once I set out to finish something, I always stay at it until it is completed before I move on to something else.  (Multitasking is other people)
I wish there were a way to erase past mistakes.  (yeeeaaaahhhh....) × I sleep more than 12 hours a day. × I wish I could be prouder of what I've accomplished, but it's never enough.
× I need more time to myself. × I wish I was more open-minded(I'm pretty damned open-minded. If there's something _I_ can't take, something is definitely wrong.) × I hope that I go really prematurely grey.
I download songs from the internet.  (Well, some times, yes. Not often.) × I've just reenacted chapter 58 of Death Note with my best friend.  (How many people can really say they've done this? I mean, JUST done this?) × I say random things to freak people out.  (Not to freak people out. I just say random things.)
× I'm still a little mad about the ending of Death Note(Again with the Death Note. Let me guess, somebody kills themself?) I love playing Truth or Dare.  (Never done it, but I'm sure I would enjoy it. See "Open-Minded") × I love listening to slow music, but I hate singing to it.  (I like singing slow jazz too.)
× Music helps me remember that I am not alone. × Playing my favorite sport makes me temporarily forget my problems.  (Sports?) I think this survey is particularly long.
× I prefer my LJ friends to my real-life ones. × I can only hate someone that I love. × I've ordered an extra two shots of espresso to an Americano at Starbucks(Never had coffee in my life, and only ever bought one thing from Starbucks ever (an orange drink with 1500% Vitamin C--I was sick))