Oh, I got hot sause all over my bazito!

You know what this is? It's a brain sucker. You know what it's doing? Filing its tax return

If you wish to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first invent apple pie

The Adventures of Little Ed Brave

Tell airport security your name is McCannister because you can hide anything in a cannister.

You know what? Nobody notices when this changes anyway.

There are 10 types of people in the world: Those who understand binary, and STFU

What happens in a black hole stays in a black hole

The black hole draws you inexorably inward. Time slows. You are likely to be eaten by a grue.

I'd diddle little umdidlie... if she weren't my half-sister.

Abortion prevents pedophilia. In more ways than one!
Get Firefox!
I wrote a haiku

which I was about to share,

but then I thought, "screw it."
Level 1

Notice to all users of the Holodeck:

There are safety protocols in place that cannot be deactivated without the approval of two commanding officers or the captain to protect users of the Holodeck from potential harm. However, every time the Holodeck is ever used in a nontrivial manner, no matter what the safety protocols say, the Holodeck turns into a deathtrap.

Unless you believe yourself to be adept at constructing a forcefield from your communicator and 19th century Earth tools, or you're at the very least not wearing a red shirt, you are strongly advised not to attempt to use the Holodeck until a designer comes up with a safety protocol that doesn't kill you whenever somebody looks at it funny. Even when you're not on the holodeck. Or in the same quadrant. Or time period.

In fact, if you are wearing a red shirt, Starfleet may not be the job for you


Who Am I?

Older Version

Old Version

The Stupid Quiz said I am "Totally Smart!" How stupid are you? Click here to find out! What Flavour Are You? Cor blimey, I taste like Tea. What Video Game Character Are You? I am a Pacman Ghost.
An adult who is 117 pounds and is 5 feet and 7 inches tall has a body mass index of 18.4. Warning! An adult with a body mass index less than 18.5 is considered to be underweight.
Your score is 8%. You might be pregnant, wait and take a test.
Religiously, I am:
1. Secular Humanism (100%)
2. Unitarian Universalism (99%)
3. Liberal Quakers (90%)
4. Mainline to Liberal Christian Protestants (80%)
5. Theravada Buddhism (78%)
6. Nontheist (74%)
7. Neo-Pagan (72%)
8. Taoism (59%)
9. New Age (56%)
10. Mahayana Buddhism (53%)
11. Bah�'� Faith (51%)
12. Reform Judaism (50%)
13. Orthodox Quaker (47%)
14. Christian Science (Church of Christ, Scientist) (43%)
15. Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (Mormons) (39%)
16. Jainism (39%)
17. New Thought (39%)
18. Sikhism (38%)
19. Scientology (36%)
20. Mainline to Conservative Christian/Protestant (33%)
21. Jehovah's Witness (26%)
22. Hinduism (23%)
23. Islam (21%)
24. Orthodox Judaism (21%)
25. Seventh Day Adventist (21%)
26. Eastern Orthodox (14%)
27. Roman Catholic (14%)

If you've seen over 110 movies, you have no life. There are 240 movies on this list. I have seen 93.

(X) Rocky Horror Picture Show
() Grease
(X) Pirates of the Caribbean
() Boondock Saints
(X) Fight Club
() Starsky and Hutch
(X) Neverending Story
(X) Blazing Saddles
(X) Airplane
(X) The Princess Bride
Total so far: 7

() Anchorman
(X) Napoleon Dynamite
(X) Labyrinth
() Saw II
() White Noise
() White Oleander
(X) Anger Management
(X) 50 First Dates
(X) The Princess Diaries
(X) The Princess Diaries 2: Royal Engagement
Total so far: 13

() Scream
() Scream 2
() Scream 3
() Scary Movie
() Scary Movie 2
(X) Scary Movie 3
(X) Scary Movie 4
() American Pie
() American Pie 2
() American Wedding
() American Pie Band Camp

Total so far: 15
(X) Harry Potter 1
(X) Harry Potter 2
(X) Harry Potter 3
(X) Harry Potter 4
() Resident Evil 1
(X) Resident Evil 2
() The Wedding Singer
(X) Little Black Book
(X) The Village
(X) Lilo & Stitch
Total so far: 23
(X) Finding Nemo
(X) Finding Neverland
(X) Signs
(X) The Grinch
() Texas Chainsaw Massacre
() White Chicks
() Butterfly Effect
() 13 Going on 30
(X) I, Robot
(X) Robots
Total so far: 29

(X) Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story
() Universal Soldier
(X)Lemony Snicket: A Series Of Unfortunate Events
() Along Came Polly
() Deep Impact
() KingPin
(X) Never Been Kissed
(X) Meet The Parents
() Meet the Fockers
() Eight Crazy Nights
() Joe Dirt
(X)King Kong
Total so far: 34

(X) A Cinderella Story
() The Terminal
() The Lizzie McGuire Movie
() Passport to Paris
(X) Dumb & Dumber
() Dumber & Dumberer
() Final Destination
() Final Destination 2
() Final Destination 3
() Halloween
(X) The Ring
() The Ring 2
() Surviving Christmas
(X) Flubber
Total so far: 38

() Harold & Kumar Go To White Castle
() Practical Magic
(X) Chicago
() Ghost Ship
() From Hell
(X) Hellboy
() The Secret Window
() I Am Sam
() The Whole Nine Yards
() The Whole Ten Yards

Total so far: 40
(X) The Day After Tomorrow
() Child's Play
() Seed of Chucky
() Bride of Chucky
(X) Ten Things I Hate About You
() Just Married
() Gothika
() Nightmare on Elm Street
() Sixteen Candles
(X) Remember the Titans
() Coach Carter
() The Grudge
(X) The Mask
() Son Of The Mask
Total so far: 44

() Bad Boys 2
() Joy Ride
() Lucky Number Sleven
(X) Ocean's Eleven
() Ocean's Twelve
() Bourne Identity
() Lone Star
() Bedazzled
() Predator
() Predator II
() The Fog
(X) Ice Age
(X) Ice Age 2: The Meltdown
() Curious George
Total: 47

(X) Independence Day
() Cujo
() A Bronx Tale
() Darkness Falls
() Christine
(X) ET
() Children of the Corn
() My Boss' Daughter
(X) Maid in Manhattan
() Frailty
(X) War of the Worlds
() Rush Hour
() Rush Hour 2
Total so far: 51

() Best Bet
() She's All That
() Calendar Girls
() Sideways
(X) Mars Attacks
(X) Event Horizon
(X) Ever After
(X) Wizard of Oz
(X) Forrest Gump
() Big Trouble in Little China
() The Terminator
() The Terminator 2
() The Terminator 3
Total so far: 56

(X) X-Men
(X) X2
(X) X-3
(X) Spider-Man
(X) Spider-Man 2
() Sky High
() Jeepers Creepers
() Jeepers Creepers 2
(X) Catch Me If You Can
(X) The Little Mermaid
() Freaky Friday
() Reign of Fire
() Equilibrium
() The Skulls
() Cruel Intentions
() Cruel Intentions 2
() The Hot Chick
(X) Shrek
(X) Shrek 2
Total so far: 65

() Swimfan
(X) Miracle on 34th street
() Old School
(X) The Notebook
(X) K-Pax
(X) Krippendorf's Tribe
() A Walk to Remember
() Ice Castles
() Boogeyman
(X) The 40-year-old-virgin
Total so far: 70

(X) Lord of the Rings Fellowship of the Ring
(X) Lord of the Rings The Two Towers
(X) Lord of the Rings Return Of the King
(X) Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark
(X) Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom
(X) Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade
Total so far: 76

() Baseketball
() Hostel
(X) Waiting for Guffman
() House of 1000 Corpses
() Devils Rejects
() Elf
() Highlander
() Mothman Prophecies
() American History X
() Three Amigos
Total so far: 77

() The Jacket
() Kung Fu Hustle
() Shaolin Soccer
() Night Watch
() Monster
(X) Titanic
(X) Monty Python and the Holy Grail
() Dawn Of the Dead
() Willard
Total so far: 79

() High Tension
() Club Dread
() Hulk
(X) Hook
(X) Chronicle Of Narnia The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe
() 28 days later
() Orgazmo
() Phantasm
(X) Waterworld
Total so far: 82

() Kill Bill vol 1
() Kill Bill vol 2
() Mortal Kombat
() Mortal Kombat: Annihilation
() Wolf Creek
() Kingdom of Heaven
() The Hills Have Eyes
() I Spit on Your Grave aka the Day of the Woman
() The Last House on the Left
() Re-Animator
() Army of Darkness
Total so far: 82

(X) Star Wars Ep. I The Phantom Menace
(X) Star Wars Ep. II Attack of the Clones
(X) Star Wars Ep. III Revenge of the Sith
(X) Star Wars Ep. IV A New Hope
(X) Star Wars Ep. V The Empire Strikes Back
(X) Star Wars Ep. VI Return of the Jedi
() Ewoks Caravan Of Courage
(X) Ewoks The Battle For Endor
Total so far: 89

(X) The Matrix
(X) The Matrix Reloaded
(X) The Matrix Revolutions
(X) Animatrix
() Evil Dead
() Evil Dead 2
() Team America World Police
() Red Dragon
() Silence of the Lambs
() Hannibal
Total: 93